Breaking the Curse
by Jalen Kun
Summary: "Heh, get real, Sakura. As an Uchiha, it's a given that I'm naturally smarter than you." - "Naruto-kun, just know this. As an Uchiha, I simply cannot steal and wear one of your orange jackets." - "Psst! Sasuke-chan! When are we gonna have them address us by Uchiha-sama?" Uchiha Kai. Breaking stereotypes since he could talk without gaining suspicion. Male!OC / Full Summary Inside
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: "Heh, get real, Sakura. As an Uchiha, it's a given that I'm naturally smarter than you." - "Naruto-kun...just know this. As an Uchiha, I simply cannot steal and wear one of your orange jackets...even though I really, really want to." - "Psst! Sasuke-chan! When are we gonna have them address us by 'Uchiha-sama?' Huh, Sasuke-chan? Huh?" Uchiha Kai. Breaking stereotypes and pissing everyone off since...well, since he could talk without gaining suspicion. Male!OC**

* * *

**Breaking the Curse**

_Chapter One _

"Sasuke-chan! Hey, Sasuke-chan! Wake up! Hey, c'mon, wake up, Sasuke-chan!"

Uchiha Sasuke's eyes slowly opened up...and instantly narrowed. Above him was Uchiha Kai, his cousin that acted more like an annoying younger brother. Straight yet messy black hair, pale skin, dark eyes, and a goofy grin - his cousin acted more like an _Uzumaki_ than an Uchiha. But, he did have the Uchiha features that all the girls seemed to totally _love_.

_Still_. Just because he was an Uchiha didn't mean he could barge in his room and wake him up whenever he pleased! Cousin, brother - _whatever he was,_ he was still a person, and _nobody_ simply woke Uchiha Sasuke up.

And to be in _that_ position, too. Kai was basically straddling him! If any of the girls saw...they'd probably still love them both to bits. Maybe even make a fanclub.

"Get off of me," Sasuke bit out, glaring now. Kai didn't move, just blinking idiotically. He growled. "I said get off of me!"

"Oh?" Kai's expression turned mischievous. "Something wrong, Sasuke-chan?"

"I will literally burn you to a crisp."

"My, my..." Kai expertly jumped off of the preteen and onto the clean floor, striking a pose. "Right! Anywhoozies, you need to get up and get dressed! We need to hurry to the academy!"

Sasuke blinked curiously. "Are we late?" He turned his head to the digital clock. 7_:00 AM. _He almost wanted to curse. "It's seven o'clock. I get up at eight. The explanatory meeting doesn't start 'till nine." Sasuke was forcing out the words with venom by now. "Why did you wake me up?"

"We're becoming official ninja today, that's why!"

"..."

"We can't afford to show up late!"

"..."

"E-Er... Well..."

"The _truth_."

"...We can't let that Hyūga girl get there before us." Kai puffed out his chest, hitting it with his fist. "As Uchiha, we need to show those stuck-up Hyūga that we're better than them at any and every way possible."

A sigh. Sasuke silently got out the bed and walked to the door, noting that Kai was fully dressed. How stupid _was_ he? Without missing a beat, Sasuke stopped at his door and pointed towards the hall.

"Get out of my room."

Kai grinned. "Whaddya think I'm gonna do? Steal your underwear? I'm not one of your fan-girls, Sasuke-chan." Nonetheless, he walked past Sasuke out the door and headed to the kitchen. "Anyway, hurry it up! I'm not letting that bitch get there before me today! Not today on our last day! Nuh-uh! I swear she be coming early on pur-"

Sasuke slammed the door to the bathroom, blocking out his cousin's annoying rant. Seriously, how stupid _was_ he? Having some sort of fake personal vendetta against Hyūga Hinata was _beyond_ idiotic. The poor girl didn't even know how to respond to most of the things Kai said!

Taking off his clothes and turning on the water, an irritated huff passed through his lips. Even though he thought it was a stupid reason to get up early, he still did it anyway. Was that love or just plain submission? Whatever it was, Sasuke didn't care.

Kai was his cousin - the only one besides him to survive the Uchiha Massacre - meaning he was _family_. And most days, if Sasuke didn't have Kai, didn't have _family_...he didn't know what he'd do.

* * *

**"Itachi-kun didn't kill me because, y'know, me and him had a **_**special**_** connection - if you know what I mean. Yep. He would always buy me tea."**

* * *

The two Uchiha walked the village streets expeditiously. Sasuke was tired of people staring and smiling at him, while Kai simply wanted to hurry and get to the learning institute. The morning sun shone down valiantly, birds cawed and tweeted as they flew through the sky - _this_ was the definition of "_peace_."

Yet, Sasuke still had his uncaring frown on his face. Kai, however, wore an excited grin as he waved at the smiling villagers.

"Lighten up, Sasuke-chan," the exuberant raven mumbled to his brooding cousin, still grinning.

"Don't call me that," Sasuke immediately snapped, sending a glare to the other boy that would have froze a regular person.

Kai just smiled in response. "I like it. It at least gets you to respond to me."

"I always respond to you."

"Aww~! I feel loved," Kai teased, bringing his arm around Sasuke's shoulder. The shorter boy instantly knocked the other's arm off, scowling. Kai shrugged as Sasuke started to speed up. "Meh."

"E-Excuse me..."

Kai turned to see a small girl holding out a colorful card. His brow rose up and he bent down to get to eye level.

"Is that for me, little girl?" He asked, now smiling sheepishly. Before he could take the card - he was used to getting presents from random people as he _was_ one of the last Uchiha - the girl started to talk.

"C-Come to our bakery, please! Th-This is a coupon!" And with that she raised the card up to Kai's chest and scurried away.

He looked at the colorful card in confusion - _Bina-san's Bakery_ - before looking up at where the girl ran off to. She was silently clutching onto her mother's dress, who simply ignored the girl and smiled at Kai.

_I might as well go get some breakfast, _the Uchiha thought blankly, a goofy smile creeping on his face. _I mean, I know she's just using me to get more customers - using her own daughter as bait at that - but maybe I can use my Uchiha charm to get some free bread? _

"Oh, Uchiha-san!" The lady exclaimed loudly - so the passersby would hear after all - when Kai walked over to her and her daughter. "I'm so happy that you wanted to come here! Come in, come in - the bread is hot this morning!"

...Just as he predicted, the lady offered him a basket of steaming hot bread with the promise of coming again. He just nodded and smiled and chatted respectfully with the lady because, as an Uchiha, he was _supposed_ to do those things.

"Make sure you _do_ come again now!" The lady hollered happily as Kai made a dash out the door and to the academy.

"I will!" He promised back, and because he was an Uchiha, he'd keep that promise. Probably tomorrow when he got up for Kakashi's test...because he _was_ going to be in Kakashi's squad with Sasuke and Naruto. Being with Sakura would also be nice...but she was really an unimportant factor. He could do everything she could and better...

Because, well, he _was_ an Uchiha.

* * *

**"Are you stupid or what? I always use words no simpleminded person would know."**

* * *

"O-Oh, hey. What're you guys doing here so early?" Umino Iruka asked as he walked up to the academy. Sasuke, Kai, and Hinata were standing in front of the locked doors, the taller Uchiha giving the Hyūga a look of pure hatred.

Sasuke didn't speak, he simply crossed his arms and looked away with a bored expression on his face; Kai was too busy glowering to give the teacher any recognition; and Hinata was looking to the floor and cowering under the raven's intense stare.

The teacher stared at the trio a bit longer before clearing his throat and taking out his keys to the classroom. "Let's just go i-"

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Aren't you?" Kai interrupted, voice laced with anger. He took a threatening step towards Hinata, who in return squeaked in fear. "You're always, _always_ getting here before us. Even when I got up three hours early to get here, you're somehow _still_ first! How?!"

The girl was trembling by now. "I-I don't understand…"

"_Of course_ you don't understand! You just decided to get here extra, extra early because you _felt like it_, right? That's it, right?"

Even when the boy was undoubtedly angry, his voice was hardly above normal talking volume. _That's the Uchiha for you_, Iruka thought now, sweat dropping. _Able to show how mad they are without yelling._

"I...I…" Hinata tried to defend herself from the harassment that happened to her every other day...but the words just wouldn't come out her mouth. How could she tell him that her family forced her to get there before the two Uchiha because "_the best clan is the earliest there._" That's what they told her, at least. She didn't really understand it. It sounded trivial; but she was still forced to come as early as humanely possible nonetheless.

Kai sneered - well, Hinata thought it was a sneer, but he could just be grinning. His emotions seemed to change at the drop of a hat, she observed. Or he could just be trying to be funny.

"Does the Byakugan give you the power to read minds now? You must've known I was planning on coming early - that's the only wa-"

"Shut up already, idiot," Sasuke interrupted his rant, punching his cousin carelessly on the head. Kai would have used the word 'playfully,' but Uchiha Sasuke does _not_ do playful. He just doesn't.

"Oww," he whined, rubbing his head (even though it didn't hurt at all). Looking at Sasuke's exasperated face, he grinned. "I was just kidding. It was just a joke. A simple, non-serious little joke. I swear."

"I think your jokes are a bit too much, Kai," Iruka mumbled, opening the door and letting the Genin inside. _I'm a Chūnin - a damn great one if I had to say so myself! - and I can definitely say he was _not_ joking. _

As Hinata sat at the top row and Sasuke and Kai sat at the second, a mischievous smile secretly slid on the exuberant Uchiha's face. He really didn't have anything against Hinata at all - in fact, if he had to pick between hate and love, he'd choose love in a heartbeat! He just loved messing with and teasing the shy girl. And being an Uchiha - and her being a Hyūga - it was pretty fun forming a "rivalry" with the girl, based on their clans' dislike of each other. Even though his clan was basically obliterated overnight…

Still keeping the smile on his face, his thoughts began to go elsewhere. Today was the day the Anime would finally be officially starting. Firstly, he needed to get into Squad Seven - if he wasn't in there already. From there, he'd start changing things that really needed changing - for the better, of course. He didn't know what specifically yet, since his mind was really focused on one particular point.

_Make sure Sasuke doesn't leave Konoha, _Kai rehearsed in his mind, over and over again. When he figured the point stuck, another smile graced his lips. _And have as much fun as possible...hehehe…_

"You're laughing idiotically again," Sasuke deadpanned, now completely use to his cousin's crazy antics. Sometimes, he wondered why it had to be _him_ to survive the Uchiha Massacre. Couldn't it have been someone smarter, more serious, and old enough to teach him? Did Itachi leave Kai with him just to torture him?

Shaking his head, he realized he was going off into bad territory. He did not want to go there again. The last time he went, Kai did, too, and they were literally sulking for days.

"I said…" The brooding Uchiha spoke louder, noticing his cousin didn't hear him at all and was actually still laughing to himself. Was he going crazy? "You're laughing like an idiot."

"Huh?" Kai suddenly stopped, blinking. He turned to look at Sasuke, and then grinned sheepishly. "I guess I was, huh?" Looking away, he smirked again. Oh, he'd have _so_ much fun.

* * *

"**Blah blah blah blah **_**blah.**_** You talk alot. Are you in heat or nah?"**

* * *

"OH MY TEA-GOD! UZUMAKI NARUTO, MY BESTEST FRIEND! WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

The class literally shook at the volume of Kai's voice. It wasn't very Uchiha-like to yell out like that, he knew, but he didn't care at the moment. Naruto just sat down beside him like he did _not_ fail the test a week ago - and not a single person said a thing about it. Kai personally knew why Naruto was here - as he _did_ watch the Anime - but he couldn't just go out and blow his secret, could he?

Yelling was just...a more awesome way to keep his secret intact.

"Could you keep it down?" Sasuke hissed beside him, glaring. The class was momentarily stunned by the earlier outburst, but was now more-or-less over it. They were sadly use to his outbursts, too.

"Oh, shush, Sasuke-chan. Don't be jealous," Kai teased, before turning back to Naruto, who was grinning at him madly.

Naruto and Kai became friends quickly. Kai wasn't in their class at first - he was in another with another teacher - but after the Uchiha Massacre, the Hokage and everyone else decided it'd be better for the two remaining Uchiha to be in the same class. The first few days, Kai was usually quiet with a look on his face that basically said "I'm thinking about something important, so don't mess with me." As expected, nobody really approached him, and the ones that did were easily ignored.

The second week, though, while Sasuke was still gloomy, Kai seemed to have had a sudden change of heart. He was constantly smiling, talking and being nice to everyone and everything. He was also the girls' object of affection, considering Sasuke was practically MIA and he was the next best thing. And unlike Sasuke, he accepted the attention with open arms, even going the extra mile and dating a few of the girls. Though, he'd always cut the relationship after a week or two, deeming it weird since they were so young.

For some odd reason, though, whenever the kids were supposed to pick a partner to work with, he went directly to Naruto before anyone could ask him. Always. The raven apparently had a lot in common with the blond, so they hit it off quickly; pranking, eating lunch together, and hanging out after school. Sometimes, when Kai was in one of his best moods - and Naruto looked too disheartened to walk away from - Kai would even let the blond stay over for the night. That's what really sealed the deal with Naruto; Kai was just too awesome, it'd be delusional of him _not_ be best friends with the Uchiha boy.

"So, what happened? What happened? You already know I was having a midlife crisis when you failed," Kai asked in his best impression of a gossiping teenage girl.

"Well, well, y'know Mizuki-sensei, right? Right?" Naruto started, practically bouncing in excitement. He had a habit of repeating his words when he was excited; Kai didn't mind, though, because he did, too. "Well, he was some super bad guy, and he lied and told me I could be a Genin if I did stole something super important. Iruka-sensei found out, protected me when Mizuki tried to attack me, and then I used this super awesome Jutsu and beat Mizuki up! It was so awesome!"

"That sounds...exciting," Kai concluded, knowing Naruto was leaving _a lot_ of stuff out. He didn't mind if Naruto wasn't ready to tell him about the Kyūbi, though; he knew already, so it's not like curiosity was eating at him. "So, since you beat the bad guy, you became Genin?"

"You got it!" The boisterous blond nodded fervently, now pointing at his headband. "Does it look good on me? It looks great on me, doesn't it?" Kai simply gave him a thumbs up, toothily grinning.

"So that's why you're here, Naruto," Shikamaru said in his dull drone of a voice. Both pre-teens looked up at him, and the Nara sighed. "Guess it just goes to say you can't even trust some of your teachers."

"You're right about that, Shikamaru-kun," Kai chirped rather happily, even though they were talking about the mistrust of their senseis. "Anyway…"

"Hey, hey, Shikamaru, Shikamaru," Naruto giggled, pointing to his headband again. "Does it look good on me? It totally looks good on me, right?"

Before Shikamaru could answer with a "troublesome," Kai spoke up again. "You've been obsessing over that headband for a while now, Naruto-kun," he mumbled, and then gasped. "Don't tell me… You're in love with your headband!"

Naruto spun around. "What?!"

"How scandalous," the raven muttered, slightly inching away. "I-If you want, I could get you some help…"

"I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH MY HEADBAND!"

"O-Okay. D-Don't get hostile." He bent over to Shikamaru, mock-whispering. "Studies show that ninja in love with their headbands are highly volatile and will snap at the drop of a hat. Please, Shikamaru-kun, be careful with this one."

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT VOLATILE MEANS!"

Just then, two kunoichi - Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino - burst through the door at the same time, screaming "**GOOOAAAL!**" and then starting to pant in exhaustion.

"I win again, Sakura," Ino claimed in a bitchy yet exhausted tone.

"What are you talking about? My toe entered the class before yours by a centimeter," Sakura retorted, smirking irritably at the blonde. Ino did the same.

"Are you blind?"

"Are you delusional?"

Ignoring the girls' banter, Kai turned around and allowed Naruto to stare at his crush. Shikamaru was already walking away to his seat. Kai inched closer to Sasuke and whispered to him quietly, "You should associate with your friends more."

"They're _not_ my friends. I don't have such useless things," Sasuke mumbled, still looking straight at the board.

"Friends aren't useless, Sasuke-chan," he retorted softly, voice every bit of serious. Even though he still kept the humiliating honorific. "If I wasn't here… If Itachi-kun killed me-"

"Don't talk about him so familiarly!" Sasuke demanded, now turning away from the board and giving the other raven a hate-filled scowl. "He killed our family, so why don't you act like it?! Do you really not care?!"

Naruto turned away from staring at Sakura to look at the commotion, especially at hearing Sasuke's angry but quiet voice. The boy hardly said a word, so it had to be something important for him to talk like that.

Kai blinked, before looking away. "I care…"

"Just stop talking to me," Sasuke demanded, and with that, the argument was over. Sasuke was visibly fuming while Kai had a blank look on his face, both of them now staring at the board.

Confused, Naruto scratched his messy head, not really wanting to say anything. He may have been an idiot most of the time, but he knew when not to meddle - and now was a time to not meddle. He'd only interfere if it really became a problem.

As soon as Naruto turned back around, he was met face to face with Sakura. Not noticing the glare directed his way - _Sakura was actually looking at him!_ - he jumped up and waved excitedly at the girl.

"Good morning, Sakura-cha-"

"Get out my way!" The girl demanded, pushing the blond on the wooden floor. Naruto yelped and hit his head on the wood, whining dejectedly. Smiling her best smile and bringing her hands together, Sakura ignored Naruto and looked straight at the two Uchiha. "G-Good morning, Kai-kun, Sasuke-kun."

"Good morning, Sakura," Kai droned, hardly giving the pinkette a glance. Sasuke flat out ignored her, still not in the best of moods.

"Can I sit next to you two?" She then asked in her sweetest voice.

"Sure," Kai mumbled, still sounding a bit distracted. He even forgot that Naruto was sitting there just a second ago.

Sakura practically gushed. If she had to pick between Kai and Sasuke on who to be with, she'd pick think about it for a while but pick Sasuke in the end. Not only has she known him longer, but she just loved his stoic nature. A smile from him would be the rarest thing in the world, and she'd literally gush if she were to see one.

Kai was attractive too, though, considering he was Sasuke's cousin. The only reason why she wouldn't pick him is because he acted too much like Naruto at times…

That little flaw could be quickly overlooked, though. If he would just ask her...

Blinking out of her thoughts (that usually ended with a nosebleed), she stammered out a "thank you" and moved to sit down. But just as quickly, Ino rushed beside her and grabbed her arm.

"Hey, I'm going to sit next to them!" She yelled, obviously not pleased that Sakura was trying to one-up her.

"First come first served," Sakura yelled back, pulling her arm away from Ino's grasp.

"I came into the classroom before you!"

"I did!" Another girl yelled, walking up to join the argument. She came in before both of them, so shouldn't she get to sit by the Uchiha boys?

"If that's the case, I did!"

"No, I did!"

"I'm going to sit next to Sasuke-kun!"

"I wanna sit next to Kai-kun!"

By then, almost every girl in class was fighting over who'd get to sit next to Kai and Sasuke, and all the boys were just dully watching in slight irritation. How come those two got all the girls' attention? How come no one fought to sit next to _them?_

_How annoying, _Sasuke thought about the raging girls. Were they deluded, or simply stupid? On the other hand, Kai was out of his daze and goading the girls on, standing on the desk and saying and doing totally unnecessary things.

"Come on, Sakura! You can do it! Fight for this seat to prove your love!" He would say, jumping up and down on the table.

And things like...

"Ino-chan, I heard that girl right there call you a big blonde bitch! Are you gonna take that?!"

And also irritating crap like...

"For those of you who really, really want to sit next to us, you could skip the fight and pay me a fee of one thousand ryō! It's not certain that you'll get the seat, but it does move you up on the list!"

After those statements - and some others that won't be mentioned - the girls were clawing at each other, screaming incredibly mean things about each other, and throwing money at the exuberant Uchiha boy.

Watching the scene on the Hokage's magical orb, all of the shinobi in the room were...speechless.

"Is...that boy really an Uchiha?" Kurenai mumbled to herself, but everyone heard.

"Yes. That's him. Uchiha Kai: the second best rookie of this year," Hiruzen informed, though they all already knew.

"They're both survivors of the massacre," Kurenai stated. No one said anything, but the same question popped up in everybody's head. Why were they the ones kept alive? They could conclude that Sasuke was kept alive because he was Itachi's brother...but why Kai? They weren't siblings, the age difference determined that they weren't friends - so why?

What made Kai so special? What made him more important than all the other kids his age that were slaughtered by Itachi?

As Kakashi stared at the orb, his eyes wouldn't leave off of Kai. The boy reminded him off somebody, someone he visited every day.

_Obito..._

When Iruka walked in the classroom to see most of the girls unconscious on the floor (Naruto trapped under them), Sakura sitting beside Kai with dry blood in her hair and bruises all over her body, and Kai putting a load of money in his wallet...he just sighed.

"Alright. Boys, pick these girls up and bring them to their seats. Naruto, do you need to go to the nurse? No? Then get up and sit down. Sakura, please stop cheering and go to the restroom to clean yourself up. Ino, please stop stomping and cursing and have a seat. And Kai, give those girls their money back. When everything is settled, I'll tell you all your next course of action."

"Yes, sensei!"

* * *

**"Is you mad or nah?"**

* * *

Umino Iruka cleared his throat - as he did before every speech - and began to talk. "Starting today, you're all official ninja, but you're all still new Genin. It's only going to get harder from here. You'll all be in a group of three, where you will accomplish missions under a Jōnin instructor."

That made the class perk up. _A group of three?! _All the girls obviously wanted to be paired up with Sasuke or Kai, while most of the boys just wanted to be with their friends.

"I wonder who's going to be in Kai-kun or Sasuke-kun's team," Ino mused to herself, loud enough for Sakura to hear. She was sitting on the row above the pinkette, but was still angry that she wasn't sitting by the Uchiha boys. After all that fighting...

"I don't know," Sakura answered, but inside a fire was burning. _Damn it, I'm the one who's gonna team up with one of them, of course!_

Meanwhile, Kai was whispering to Sasuke after hearing the brooding boy suck his teeth.

"Do you think we'll be in the same group, Sasuke-chan?" Kai asked curiously.

"Hopefully not," Sasuke answered, but he was lying. If it had to be anyone, then Kai was the best choice; the boy wasn't a useless weakling and Sasuke was already use to his idiocy.

_First Sakura-chan, _Naruto thought dully on who he'd want on his team. _Then Kai. Yeah. That'd be the best team ever._

"We've arranged most of the groups so that overall ability is equivalent. There's also other factors that led us to choose these certain teams, but they more than likely don't apply to most of you all. Also, because of the uneven amount of students in this class, there'll be one group of four." Iruka cleared his throat again and held out the sheet of paper in his hand. "I will now announce the teams."

Kai's grin increased in size as Iruka named teams one through six. The _other factors_ obviously applied to him and Sasuke being the only two Uchiha and not being much compatible with anyone else. And that was more true than not. Sasuke would probably grunt in dissatisfaction but stay on the team nonetheless, but Kai wouldn't stand not being on Team Seven with the main characters. He'd definitely throw a tantrum until he got what he wanted...

As an Uchiha, he had a reputation to uphold, though, so that'd be his last resort.

That group of four was definitely Naruto, Kai, Sakura, and Sasuke, though. He wouldn't have to throw a tantrum, because no other team would make sense with a group of four!

"Next, the seventh group," Iruka announced, and Kai bit the insides of his cheeks out of nervousness. Even though he was sure that he was right, _anything_ could happen, and that made him a bit anxious. "Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura-"

"**Yeah!**" Naruto cheered happily from the row behind the two Uchiha and pinkette. He was ecstatic, but Sakura was in a totally opposite mood. _I'm with Naruto..? _She thought sadly.

Iruka allowed the interruptions and then continued. "-Uchiha Sasuke-"

"**Yeah!**" Sakura cheered, while Naruto copied Sakura's earlier mood. _I'm with Sasuke..? _He thought sadly.

"-and Uchiha Kai."

"**WOOHOO!**" Naruto, Sakura, and Kai all cheered at the same time. Sasuke just grunted, but the corners of his lips did twitch into a small smile for half a second.

Naruto was happy that he was with Sakura and Kai, but was a bit annoyed that he was also with Sasuke. Sakura was happy that she was Kai and Sasuke, but was a bit annoyed that she was also with Naruto. Sasuke was content with being on a team with Kai, even though he would never admit it, but he wasn't so pleased that he was with the dead last and the annoying fan-girl.

Kai was just glad that everything turned out just as expected.

"Next, eighth group," Iruka continued, annoyed at being interrupted but glad that Naruto was in a team he liked. "Hyūga Hinata-"

"Y-Yes!" The girl squeaked, a bit disappointed that she wasn't with Naruto but still wanting to know her future teammates.

"-Inuzuka Kiba, and Aburame Shino," Iruka finished. Kiba smirked while Shino simply pushed up his shades.

Content with just knowing her team, Sakura turned around and grinned victoriously at her rival. Ino glared at the pink haired girl, fuming.

"Not only do you get to be with Sasuke-kun, but Kai-kun, too?! Why?!" Ino demanded, furious. It just wasn't fair! It really wasn't fair at all!

_Alright! Love prevails! _Sakura thought happily, giving Ino the victory sign.

"Why do you girls like them so much?" Shikamaru asked Ino in his irritated voice. He really didn't understand it. Sasuke obviously wanted nothing to do with them, and Kai looked like he was just playing with their emotions a while ago. Did they not see these things?

"Don't you even know _that_, Shikamaru?" Ino asked, taking a jab at how he was supposed to be oh-so smart yet he couldn't understand why Kai and Sasuke were the hottest boys in the academy.

"I'm not a girl," was his blunt yet correct answer. Ino just stared at him in disbelief for a moment before sighing lethargically.

"That's why you're not popular," she said, musing to herself. "I wouldn't want to team up with a guy like you." In front of her, Kai stifled a chuckle.

"Tenth group," Iruka continued, smiling to himself. These groups were more or less perfect! "Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru-"

Ino's eyes widened in shock as Shikamaru simply smirked. "Looks like you'll have to team up with me."

"-and Akimichi Chōji," Iruka finished. The chubby boy in question was scarfing down chips in one of the first rows. He was happy that he was with Shikamaru, and Shikamaru _did_ tell him that it was a good chance Ino would be in their group.

Ino, however, was devastated. First the lazy bum, then the fatty?! While Sakura got both the Uchiha to herself?! Life just wasn't fair sometimes...

Naruto snickered to himself. For him, it wasn't all that bad. Kai suddenly turned around and gave Naruto a flashy grin, which he returned full force. Sure, Sasuke was on his team, but so was Kai and Sakura. He didn't have much of a reason to complain, to be honest.

"I'm going to introduce the Jōnin teachers in the afternoon," Iruka explained, even more glad now that no one had an outburst about not liking their teams. "**Meeting adjourned until then!**"

_End of Chapter One_

* * *

**Author's Notes: Alright. So... For those of you who read my other Naruto stories, you guys know how much angst and sadness and just unhappy things be in it nowadays, right? Well, I kinda wanted a break from that. And then after reading Naruto: The New Story (my first ever made Naruto story), I realized how happy and great everything usually was. It filled me with nostalgia, and I sorta wanted to, y'know, rewrite it. But wasn't that what I was doing with Grey Eyes? Initially... Until all this other stuff was thrown into it and now it's a completely different story from the original.**

**So, after doing my R.T.R, one of my awesome reviewers (DaOneInTheCorner) said he found a pattern in my stories. In Grey Eyes, Jalen is Naruto's best friend. In Muddied Orange, Sakura and Arashi are friends. And so now, in this story, Sasuke and Kai are cousins. I'll warn you now, this is mainly for fun. If some things don't make sense or just seem stupid to you, then there's a good chance that's how it's supposed to be. Like how Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Kai are on the same team. That wouldn't happen realistically, but here? Yeah, it just did. I'm not pulling another Muddied Orange here.**

**So, this may be what you might call... A crack fic. Idk. I just needed a break from all the angst (and I'm sure you guys do, too) so this popped up. I, personally, like it... And I feel it'll do Naruto: The New Story justice unlike Grey Eyes (since it's turned into something unrecognizable). **

**Also, if you don't like for an OC to be an Uchiha, you can leave now. If you don't like for good things instead of bad things to happen to the OC, you can leave now. And if you just don't like this, you can leave now. This fic is for fun, not necessarily just to please you, though that'd be a nice bonus. **

**And also, people who beg for an update, please just stop. I don't mind people saying "update soon!" or things like that, but don't constantly bug me about it. Surprisingly, I have a life, too, and it does take quite a bit of time for me to make these chapters actually likable. Please, don't bug me about the updating schedule either, because I do have to study and do my homework and then make time for my friends and then for you guys (who I cherish just as much as my friends). It's pretty hard.**

**And I know I have other stories to update, but just because I do doesn't dictate that I can't write more. I love to write, and limiting me isn't really a good idea. **

**So! That rant seemed a bit depressing, but don't you guys worry about that! I still love you all! ^_^**

* * *

**Question of the Day: How do you guys feel about Kai? Like him? Hate him? Both? Answer in the reviews! Also, why do you think Kai was kept alive during the Uchiha Massacre? And lastly, do you have high expectations for this story?**

* * *

**(Don't worry, Muddied Orange Fans. That'll be the next thing I update, most likely sometime this week!)**

**Bye-nii~!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Breaking the Curse**

_Chapter Two_

"Okay~!" Kai clapped his hands together happily as his teammates stared at him with mixed reactions.

Sasuke stared in irritation as he really, really wanted to eat alone. Naruto simply grinned as he was having the best day ever - being on a team with Kai and Sakura and now eating lunch with them both. And Sakura was in a love daze because she was really in a team with both Uchiha and now having lunch with them.

Overall, Team Seven was in a pretty good mood.

"Thank you for the food~!" He and Naruto chorused, and then they began quickly eating their food. Sasuke slowly ate, anger seeping off of his body, while Sakura was still in a daze.

The team was sitting outside the academy on the grass, a blanket under their food as it they were having a picnic. After Iruka dismissed them, Kai quickly brought the group together and led them to the secluded spot before the disheartened fan-girls got ahold of Sakura and Naruto for _'stealing'_ the Uchiha duo all to themselves.

Suddenly snapping out of her daze, Sakura gave a shy grin towards Sasuke. "Isn't it great, Sasuke-kun?" She began. "We're in the same group. Our love-"

"Yeah! Yeah! We're in the same group, Sakura-chan! The same group!" Naruto exclaimed cheerily, chewing while talking. The sight momentarily disgusted Sakura, as she inched closer to Sasuke.

"That's disgusting, Naruto," she scolded, making a face. "Chew with your mouth closed, idiot."

"Sorry, sorry," he giggled. "I'm just so happy we're on the same team! Aren't you, Sakura-chan? Kai-kun?" Naruto and Sakura both turned to look at the abnormally quiet boy. "**AHHH!**"

"Huh?" Kai looked up in confusion. Why did Naruto and Sakura suddenly scream? And why were they suddenly so far away? Only Sasuke stayed, staring at the raven in - you guessed it - irritation.

Shrugging, Kai looked back down to his tea set and smiled. Surrounding him was over twenty-five different cups filled with different types of liquid. And around that was a small fort seemingly protecting the tea.

That wasn't the only thing out of place, though.

Kai somehow managed to ditch his old shinobi clothing and was now wearing an oversized white robe. After every bite or two of food, he'd pick up a glass and drink it all at alarming speeds.

"Thank you for the drinks, Tea-sama," he sung absently, not noticing the looks of disbelief from both Naruto and Sakura.

"Wh-Wh-What are you doing?!" Naruto asked loudly, _incredulously_. Looking back up, Kai didn't skip a beat in his reply.

"I'm doing my Tea Ceremony for the almighty Tea-God. Every week I give my worships to him for providing this world with the best drink in the world. As a Tea-ist, it's most important that I do this for him." He blinked, tilting his head. "Why do you ask, Naruto-kun?"

"He asked because you somehow inconspicuously managed to set all those drinks around you and build that fort without us noticing at all! That's...not possible!" Sakura hollered this time, now wondering if this was all just a dream. "Also, you have on entirely new clothes, and all those drinks can't just be tea, can it?!"

"Black Tea, Green Tea, Keemun Tea, Yunnan Tea, Oolong Tea, Green Tea, Matcha, Assam Tea, Nilgiri Tea, Masala Tea, Genmaicha Tea, Yellow Tea, White Tea, Pu-erh, Chai, Earl Grey Tea, Lapsang Souchong Tea, English Breakfast Tea, Irish Breakfast Tea, Jasmine Tea, Russian Caravan, Rooibos, Lemon Rooibos, Lemon and Ginger, Honeybush, Spearmint, Peppermint, Chamomile, and Yerba Mate - exactly twenty-nine different types of tea." Without even taking a breath, Kai continued, face contorted into seriousness. "And starting inconspicuous Tea Ceremonies is simply a needed talent for a Tea-ist like me."

A heartbeat of silence.

"I haven't even heard of some of those teas!" Naruto yelled, biting his bottom lip. "C-Can I have some, Kai?"

A smile. "Sure, Naruto-kun."

"I don't think you can get all of that in the village," Sakura mumbled now. "Where did you get all that? _How_ did you get all that?"

A chuckle. "Silly Sakura," he said, smirking cockily. "As an Uchiha, I can easily get these things. For _free_, even - if I wanted."

Another heartbeat of silence.

"_Kyaa~!_ You're so cool, Kai-kun~!" She exclaimed. "Can I try it, too?" Even though it looked totally weird and unnecessary, she wanted to be on Kai's good side, and...she was kinda curious on how some of that tea tasted.

"Sure, Sakura." He nodded. "I'll be sure to bring extra next week for you and Naruto-kun." Turning to his cousin, he asked, "Would you like some, too, Sasuke-chan?"

"Don't call me that," he shot back instantly. "And no. That's stupid." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sakura flinch and Naruto clench his fists. Idiots.

Kai simply shrugged. "Alright then. Your lost, Sasuke-chan." Turning back to his two teammates, he smiled reassuringly. Sakura gave a weak smile back while Naruto unclenched his fists, also grinning.

Sasuke shook his head. _Idiots. _

* * *

**"As an Uchiha, it's obvious that I'm better than you. Hopefully you'll be born into something more prestigious in your next life."**

* * *

"He's late!" Naruto whined, poking his head out the sliding door and looking down the halls for his sensei.

When they got back to the classroom after lunch, the sensei's immediately started coming to pick up their students. After thirty minutes, all of the new Genin except Team Seven were gone. After an hour, Iruka bid the kids farewell. After an hour and thirty minutes, Naruto was jumpy. He couldn't just sit down for an hour and thirty minutes; he didn't have that sort of discipline. Sakura was, too, but she could control hers better.

As Uchiha, Sasuke and Kai could sit in the same spot for hours, though. They were basically born disciplined - well, when they wanted to be.

"Naruto, why don't you sit still?" Sakura demanded, sitting on the desk. Beside her, Kai was fast asleep. As soon as they got back in the classroom, he just suddenly went to sleep - as if he knew their sensei would be late.

"But... Why is our teacher for the seventh group the only one late?" Naruto asked, head momentarily back in the classroom. "All the other groups went somewhere with their new teachers already, Iruka-sensei already went home, and Kai fell asleep!"

"That's not very important," Sakura replied irritably, looking away from the hyper blond. Just because everyone left doesn't mean he could run around like a lunatic. And he had better be more quiet, too, because she did _not_ want Kai to wake up - she was already saving his cute sleeping face in the gallery of her mind.

Suddenly, she heard something like a desk falling. Turning back to Naruto, she saw as he stuck a chalk board eraser between the door and the wall.

"Hey, what're you doing, Naruto?!" Sakura demanded, hopping off the table and towards the blond. Naruto snickered victoriously to himself for a bit before jumping off the desk, landing right in front of the pinkette.

"It's his fault for being late," Naruto explained. Looking closer at the eraser stuck in the gap, Sakura realized it was some sort of trap. As soon as someone opens the door to walk inside, the eraser would fall on their head. Not the best prank, but a prank nonetheless.

Sakura put her hands on her hips and sighed. "Geez, it's your own fault of you get in trouble." But inside, she was excited. _I like these kind of tricks!_

Sasuke snorted. "A Jōnin isn't going to fall for a plain old booby trap like that."

"Yeah! Yeah!" The female Genin agreed immediately. "Naruto, you're so stu-!" Suddenly, a hand grabbed the side of the sliding door, pulling it open. Team Seven all instantly perked up - this was the moment of truth!

Lamely, the eraser hit the top of the Jōnin's spiky gray hair and fell to the floor.

A moment of complete silence as a _click_ was heard and a flash was seen. Turning, they all saw Kai holding up a camera, face completely blank.

...

"**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**" Naruto and Kai both erupted into laughter, the latter banging on the table and the former clutching his stomach. "He fell for it! He fell for it!"

"Naruto-kun, Naruto-kun! Look, look! I got the picture - the picture!" Kai laughed, waving the piece of paper in the air. Their laughter was ceased for a moment as Naruto rushed over and they both inspected the picture.

...

"Ahahahahahaha!"

Sakura was at a loss for words. If she scolded Naruto, she'd look good in front of her sensei. If she laughed alongside them, Kai might like her more. But then, her sensei would think her childish. And if she didn't, Kai might think her too uptight. What was Sasuke doing? Did he even care?

_For real? _Sasuke thought incredulously, albeit keeping a straight face. _Is he really a Jōnin?_

Picking the eraser off of the ground, Hatake Kakashi stared at his team - four fresh Genin. Two Uchiha with totally different personalities, one troublemaker Uzumaki, and a civilian girl? How was he going to train these four? Just looking at them closely reminded him of stuff he'd rather keep in the closet - so how could he properly train them without getting his personal feelings in the way?

_Act like you don't particularly like them_, he coached himself. _Don't pick favorites. Don't involve yourself too much with their personal lives. _

"Hmm... How should I say this..?" Kakashi mused to himself, even doing so much as looking up at the ceiling. "I hate you."

Kai smirked to himself. _Oh you have no idea. _

* * *

**"As a Tea-ist, I must only drink tea and nothing else."**

* * *

"Let's see... Why don't you introduce yourselves?"

Team Seven was now on the roof of the academy, Kakashi sitting at the edge of the railing in front of his four students. After being verbally rejected by their sensei, the Genin followed the Jōnin up to the roof. And here they were.

"Introduce ourselves?" Sakura tilted her head in confusion. "What should we say?"

"What you like, hate, your dreams, and hobbies," Kakashi explained. He crossed his arms and shrugged. "Well, something like that."

"So laid back and uncaring," Kai suddenly whispered to Sasuke, who tried his best to ignore his cousin. "Not a great personality for a teacher. I'll deduce points."

Naruto spoke up, enthusiasm slowly decreasing. "Hey, hey. Why don't you introduce yourself first, sensei?"

"Me?" The Jōnin pointed to himself, before shrugging. "I'm Hatake Kakashi... I have no intention of telling you my likes and dislikes." Naruto and Sakura both looked up confusedly at that, Sasuke remained stoic, while Kai had a strange glint in his eyes. "As for my dream..." Another beat of silence. "I have few hobbies."

"So all we found out was his name," Sakura mumbled to the team in irritation.

"Boring with no life," Kai noted, whispering to the whole team this time. "That's a few more points taken off."

"Now it's your turn," Kakashi spoke loudly, mentally knocking away the boy's insults. He tilted his head in Naruto's direction. "You first."

"My name, my name! Uzumaki Naruto!" The blond exclaimed, enthusiasm coming back full force. "I like cup ramen, but I like the ramen that Iruka-sensei buys for me even more! I hate the three minutes I have to wait after I put in the hot water. My hobby is to eat and compare cup ramen! And my dream is to become greater than the Hokages!" Instead of hyperness, determination edged off of his voice now. "I'm going to make all the villagers recognize my existence!"

_I see, _the Jōnin thought. _He grew up in an interesting way. _

"Naruto, do you suffer from an obsessive disorder?" Kai suddenly asked, grinning.

The blond blinked. "What?"

"First you were obsessed over your headband, and now you're obsessed over ramen. What's next? Your ninja sandals?"

Before Naruto could loudly retort, Kakashi decided to speed things along. "You're next, jokester."

The raven took the nickname generously, smiling even more now. "My name's _Uchiha_ Kai," he began, putting emphasis on _Uchiha_. "I like tea - all kinds of tea, really. My favorite is foreign Sweet Tea, but that's only for special occasions. I hate when people waste tea, 'cuz Tea-sama doesn't like that, but I also hate when people call me an idiot without even knowing who I am or what I can do to them. Seriously, as an Uchiha, I could basically erase their existence from this world - not to mention I'm smarter than them nine times out of ten." The boy blinked, realizing that he was ranting, before starting again. "My hobbies include drinking and comparing tea, having fun, and hanging with Sasuke-chan. He may not look it - or even act it - but he's actually a really nice guy. My dream is to... Well, I don't wanna share my dream with you guys..."

He stopped there, smiling to himself. His dream was actually to right the wrongs in the anime (such as Zabuza and Haku dying, Sasuke leaving the village, etc...). He wanted to prevent the bad events from happening, but he was kinda at a loss of how to do it.

"You're calling _me_ obsessed?!" Naruto hollered, not angrily but more-so playfully. "Over half of you said somehow had tea in it!"

"Don't yell at Kai-kun, Naruto!" Sakura demanded, while Kai nodded vigorously. "There's nothing wrong with what he said, idiot!"

"Sakura's exactly right," the raven said. "As an Uchiha, it's not called obsession, but more-so devotion."

As the three went back and forth with each other, Kakashi was in his own little thinking bubble. Uchiha Kai... That boy was a special case. Graduating second in his class, he acted more like Naruto than Sasuke - and they were _cousins_. Having some strange obsession (_yes, an obsession_) with tea, the boy didn't seem to take anything seriously, and didn't even look effected by the Uchiha Massacre. He was strange...and he reminded Kakashi of Obito so, so much.

"Okay," the Jōnin spoke up in a bored drawl, instantly stopping the three from arguing. "Next."

"I'm Haruno Sakura!" The girl chirped happily, a blush forming on her face. This was her chance to impress Sasuke and Kai, so she had to do her best! "I like...well, the person I like is..." She trailed off, giggling to herself. "And my hobby is... Well, my dream is to..." She caught a glance of Sasuke and Kai, the former looking cool while the latter was snickering to himself. _So cute..!_ "_Kyaaaa~!_"

Kakashi didn't even blink. This was expected. "And? What do you hate?"

"**Naruto**," she answered without skipping a beat, before going back to her fantasies. Naruto gasped in disbelief, looking distraught.

_Girls her age must be more interested in love than ninja training, _Kakashi analyzed, before looking at the next boy. "Last guy!"

Sakura snapped out of her daze and looked expectantly at her crush. She didn't really know anything about the boy because he was so quiet, so now was her chance! Naruto hardly bat the other Uchiha an eye, but he'd be lying if he wasn't a bit curious.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," he practically mumbled, voice deep. "There are many things that I hate, and there aren't a lot of things that I like." Sakura blinked, face confused. "Also, I have an ambition that I have no intention of leaving as just a dream. The revival of my clan, and to...kill a certain man."

There was moment of silence as everyone simply stared at the brooding Uchiha.

_I hope he's not referring to me..._

_Sasuke-kun _is_ cool..._

_Just as I thought..._

"**BORING!**" Kai exclaimed bluntly, _destroying_ the mood. Sasuke turned to glare at his cousin, but the raven just continued talking nonetheless. "Seriously, you're so _boring_, Sasuke-chan. Don't try to put all the attention on yourself by saying something like that. As an Uchiha, you need to be more...lively. Ya get it?"

"_Shut up_, idiot," Sasuke hissed, clenching his fists. Kai made a face.

"Why don't you start over, Sasuke-chan?" He shrugged. "I know you already embarrassed yourself, but we'll give you another chance. Just...start with your likes and dislikes, okay?"

As the banter increased, Sakura was once again at a loss of what to do. Laugh at Kai's statements, and get a glare from Sasuke. Don't laugh, and be looked at as a stuck up girl with no humor. What to do? What to do?

Naruto wasn't thinking like that. He was rolling on the ground laughing his heart out, tears in his eyes. Kai was just so _funny!_

"Alright! All four of you have unique personalities. I like that," Kakashi complimented, once again stopping pointless banter. Did he do that when he was a Genin? "We're going to begin a mission starting tomorrow."

"**YES!**" Naruto hollered, saluting with a giant grin on his face. "What kind of mission is it, sir?!"

"First, we're going to do something we five can do," the Jōnin explained.

The hyperactive blond was literally on the edge of his seat. "What? What? What? What? What? _What?_"

"Survival training."

"Survival training?"

"Why are we gonna train when it's a mission?" Sakura asked. "We had plenty of training at the academy."

"This is no ordinary training," he told the girl.

"Th-Then, then... What kind of training is it?" Naruto asked, hand raised.

In response the boy's question, Kakashi began to chuckle. It started off as a chuckle, then went to an outright laugh. Truly enigmatic.

Kai deadpanned. "Creepy or nah?"

"Hey, what's so funny, sensei?" Sakura asked, voice low and annoyed. Her sensei really wasn't making the best first impression.

"Well, I'm sure if I say this, you four are going to be _really_ surprised," he insisted, still chuckling to himself. The Genin were confused. Well, most of them. Kakashi abruptly stopped laughing, face deathly serious. "**Out of the twenty-eight graduates, only ten are going to be Genin. The other eighteen will be sent back to the academy.**"

Naruto gaped. Sasuke twitched. Sakura suddenly looked sick. Kai had another interested glint in his eyes.

"See? See? You four are surprised!" Kakashi laughed.

"No way! I went through so much trouble..!" Naruto yelled at his amused sensei. "Then, then what was the final exam for?!"

"That? It just picks out those who are qualified to become Genin," he explained as if it was the most simplest thing in the world.

"**WHAT?!**"

"Anyway, I determine whether you pass or fail tomorrow at the training grounds," Kakashi said. "Bring your ninja equipment and meet up at 5 AM!"

All four Genin were now trembling, faces etched with determination.

_I...I'm not going to get dropped by a thing like this! _Naruto gulped. _I have to make him recognize my abilities! For real! For real!_

Sakura clenched her fists, also trembling. _If I fail this test, I'm going to be separated from Sasuke-kun and Kai-kun! This is a trial of love!_

Sasuke's mind was blank. He simply brought his hands together and clutched them, hiding his nervousness behind an indifferent face.

_I wonder what I should do tomorrow? Come at the required time or a few hours late? _Kai was on a whole 'nother level of thinking from his teammates. _Should I eat breakfast or nah? Should I take the test seriously or nah? What should I even wear? Maybe I should get new clothes? Or maybe some weapons? Oh the decisions..._

Kakashi got up and turned away from his students, waving bye. "Now then, meeting over." He looked back at the trembling Genin and stopped himself from smiling. "Oh yeah, don't eat breakfast. **You'll throw up if you do.**"

With that, their sensei was gone, and the four Genin were left alone on the roof. Sasuke stood up first, intent on sharpening his skills before the test tomorrow. There's _no way_ he'd fail. His teammates would be a bother, but he desperately needed to guarantee his future as a ninja. Because he desperately needed to kill his brother - and to do that, he needed to be a shinobi.

"Well..." Kai got up, too, stretching. He flashed a smile at Sakura and Naruto. "You guys wanna grab something to eat?"

"**Yes!**" Sakura practically screamed, jumping up and in the Uchiha's personal space. "Yes! Of course, Kai-kun!" Her worrying about the test was momentarily forgotten.

Naruto wasn't as easily won, though. "I-I guess..." He still accepted, but his mind was focused on tomorrow's test. All that hard work he did to pass the first one...and now his sensei was talking about some new one? That just wasn't fair!

"What about you, Sasuke-chan? Where do you wanna eat at?"

"Nowhere. I'm going to go train," the scowling Uchiha proclaimed. He began walking away, but Kai slid in front of him and spread his arms out.

"P-Please..."

"No."

"Come _on_, Sasuke-chan!" The raven persisted, eyes teary. "It's obvious we're all gonna pass." To that statement, both Sakura and Naruto gave the boy a reassured smile. "I mean," he continued. "Especially _us_. We _are_ Uchiha. If anyone should be worried about training, it's _them!_"

...

"A-Actually, Kai-kun," Sakura practically whispered, eyes watery. "I-I have to g-go somewhere else right now... S-Sorry..."

"I...can't go either, Kai," Naruto mumbled, eyes downcast. "I...need to polish my headband..."

Both were gone seconds after the words left their throats. Kai's mouth was open in shock while Sasuke just stood their with his hands in his pockets, uninterested.

There was silence as the wind blew...

"See what you did, Sasuke-chan?" Kai spun around and glared at his cousin. "You just had to say no, and now you made them sad!"

Sasuke twitched. "THAT'S _NOT_ WHAT JUST HAPPENED!"

"That's _exactly_ what happened," Kai said, expertly jumping off the academy roof. Sasuke reluctantly followed, knowing that the raven was heading home. "They think you don't like them. They're hurt, Sasuke-chan." He placed a hand on his own heart, eyes closed mournfully. "You've wounded them."

An exasperated sigh. Sasuke thought about responding - on telling him off and shutting him down just like he always did to Naruto - but stopped himself. He really didn't need to waste that sort of energy. Especially on someone so..._Kai_.

Why did he tolerate the exuberant Uchiha again? Oh wait. Because he _was_ an Uchiha; meaning that he was family, and that meant he was basically the only family Sasuke had left. Kai involuntarily kept Sasuke sane all those years with his cheerfulness, and even though Sasuke acted like it annoyed him, he was secretly grateful for his cousin's company.

That's why Sasuke kept his mouth shut and grunted, continuing his walk in silence.

"Anyway, what're we gonna eat tonight, Sasuke-chan?"

"I don't care."

"We should have omusubi, okaka, tomatoes, and sweet tea. Today _is_ kind of special, isn't it?"

"...I'm going to go train."

"Of course you are. I'm gonna train with you." Kai flashed a smile his cousin's way. "You know I wasn't gonna go eat with them without ya, right?"

"You should have."

"Nah..." The raven put his arm around his cousin's shoulder, and like usual, Sasuke pushed it off. Speeding up, a small smile graced his face before going back to it's uninterested form.

"Come on," Sasuke called out, walking faster. "I want to train, eat, and shower all before nine o'clock. I'm getting eight hours of sleep tonight, since we need to be there by five."

This time, Kai grinned. "Whatever you say, oh-so powerful Sasuke-sama."

Yep, Uchiha Kai was involuntarily keeping Uchiha Sasuke sane with his presence. And _maybe-sorta-kinda _happy, too.

_End of Chapter Two_

* * *

**OVA**

"Hey, Sasuke-chan! Wake up! C'mon, wake up!"

Uchiha Sasuke slowly opened his eyes...and instantly narrowed them. Above him was a mop of spiky orange hair, a mischievous face grinning underneath it.

"You like my new hairstyle, Sasuke-chan?" Kai jumped off of his cousin and posed, flipping his orange locks. "I just got it made. Also, it's sorta nine o'clock...so you sorta overslept."

A sigh. A flurry of hand seals...

"**Fire Element...**"

"W-Wait! Wait! I was just kidding! It's a wig - a wig! A-And I know we're technically late, b-but Kakashi-sensei wasn't gonna be there anyway-!"

"**Blazing Fireball!**"

"_Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!_"

* * *

**Author's Notes: I'm just in love with this story. It's just so easy to write, too. I just...I don't even know what to say! I love it! I love it so much! Ah, but... Muddied Orange... I... Don't have an excuse. This story is going well so far, Grey Eyes is going well... But Muddied Orange is just so hard to write nowadays. I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP, THOUGH, SO DON'T WORRY GUYS! I'LL CONTINUE TO TRY!**

**On the bright side, Grey Eyes is coming along very nicely. ;-) **

* * *

**ssjzohan: I'm glad that you aren't annoyed at me starting a new story. ^_^ Thanks so much for reviewing!**

**Jirouto: I try to make Kai as hilarious and random as humanely possible, so thanks for the compliment! And I try to make all my OC's awesome but different in personality, so... So thanks a lot for the nice review! I hope you liked this chapter, too!**

**lioncousin: I just couldn't do any more angst. I'm not usually an angsty person, so it amazes me how much I can write it. So I thought, if I can successfully write that, why not something happy and jolly for once? And BAM! This was made! I really wanted the OC to be affiliated with Sasuke somehow, and what better way than for him to be Sasuke's cousin? But since the Uchiha were usually stoic... I decided to change things up a bit. And here goes Kai's creation. Aha! Playful and fun with a tinge of seriousness. I like it. It pretty much sums me up in a nut shell. I'm glad you have high expectations for this, cuz so do I! Thanks for reviewing!**

**AbsoluteZer0Nova: This is an interesting change of pace. I really like writing Kai more than the scared Arashi or the moody Jalen. And... They rhyme? Wha..? I had no idea- /shot**

**WindWhistle21: Oh...stop. I'm all embarrassed now... Just reading your review brings a little awkward smile to my face, and it just won't go away (FACE FREEZE?!). Anyway, I'm glad you like this, and I'm glad you're enjoying Kai! And I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too! Thanks for the wonderful review!**

**DarkLord98: Deadpool? Why? How? One of my best friends like Deadpool...but I really don't know anything about him. Aha. ^_^|| And Itachi... Well, his motives will be revealed. Hehehehe...**

**Bacon Strips: YAY! A NEW FOLLOWER! Would you like to join the I-Hate-Kiba-Club? Wait, maybe you'd like the Sakura version? GAH, now I'm ask nervous but I wanna keep my new reader and- Y'know... Thanks for reviewing... And I hope you continue to sick around... ^_^|||**

* * *

**Anyway, minna-san, Bye-nii~!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Breaking the Curse**

_Chapter Three_

"Alright, so think about it, Sasuke-chan," Uchiha Kai said, smiling at his cousin. Sasuke was, as usual, looking bored and uninterested. The duo was walking to the training grounds, **four** hours late. "I'm telling you, it'll be hilarious to see their expressions!"

"I'm not going to smile for them," Sasuke responded, voice dull. "And is it really _that_ surprising a thing if I do?"

"**Yes!**" Kai insisted, jumping up and down. He was obviously hyped up for the day. "I'm sure Sakura would faint, even!"

The brooding raven shook his head, crossing his arms. "I'm still not going to do it."

The exuberant Uchiha sighed, taking a bite out of some hot bread. Before heading to the training grounds, Kai took a trip to Bina-san's Bakery and bought five baskets of bread. One for each of his teammates and sensei, including himself. It wasn't expensive at all. Being an Uchiha sure paid off.

"I still don't understand why you're eating that," Sasuke mumbled. "First we're late, and now you're eating breakfast? You're breaking two rules right there."

"Nah, I'm sure Kakashi-sensei won't care." Kai waved him off, taking another bite. "I bought him some, too. See?"

Sasuke shook his head again. "You're delusional."

* * *

**"Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues..."**

* * *

"Kakashi's not here?" Sasuke asked incredulously. A tick mark appeared on his forehead when he heard Kai muttering "_smile~_" next to him. _Idiot_.

"We've been waiting for _hours_, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura whined, falling on the floor dramatically. In contrast to her actions, she was pissed. Waiting for over four hours made her really want to **kill** her stupid sensei.

"Really? He's not here?" Kai asked, his voice sounding surprised, but he really wasn't. They couldn't know that, though. The raven widened his eyes, looking around in shock. "Wow! I would have never known! Sasuke-chan and I got here late on accident! Honest!"

Sasuke shook his head again, grinding his teeth. _Just shut your damn mouth..._

"Anyway," he continued, holding up the baskets, seemingly forgetting all about his sensei's tardiness. "Who wants breakfast?"

"**ME!**" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing for a basket. Screw the rules. If Kakashi was late, then he could eat - damn it. "Thanks a lot, Kai!"

"It's no problem at all for my awesome teammates." He smiled gently, looking at Sakura. "I bought you a basket, too, Sakura-chan."

_Sakura-chan?! _The girl was instantly on cloud nine, a nosebleed on the verge of happening. _Oh my God! He called me Sakura-chan! What does this mean?! Does this mean he likes me?! He likes me, doesn't he?! He DOES!_

As the girl was unknowingly having slight convulsions on the ground, Kai turned around and snickered to himself. She was just so _easy!_

Uzumaki Naruto continued to scarf down food, Haruno Sakura continued her spasms, and Uchiha Kai kept on snickering silently. Sasuke stared at his team and twitched, another tick mark on his forehead. He wasn't very pleased. Adding to the fact that his sensei was _hours_ late - just like yesterday - he was actually pissed.

_Idiots, _he thought, shaking his head. _They're all a bunch of morons!_

"Sasuke-chan~! Do ya want yer basket~?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, AND NO!"

_Complete and utter morons._

* * *

**"Kakashi's true face isn't really a mystery. Just look it up on Google Images. **_**Duh-**_** Oh, wait."**

* * *

"Hi fellows. Good morning."

"**YOU'RE LATE!**" Naruto and Sakura both screamed in fury. Sasuke simply deadpanned, holding in his anger, while Kai was twitching. He knew Kakashi was keen on being late, but he actually wanted to know how it felt waiting for him and how late the man really was.

Never in his wildest dreams did he think the Jōnin would be **six hours late. **And now he felt ridiculously stupid that he wanted to wait for Kakashi. _Never again,_ Kai thought, still twitching. _I can't wait for him like this again._

Kakashi chuckled sheepishly, pointing over yonder somewhere. "Yeah, well... A black cat crossed my path, so..."

The four Genin weren't satisfied. It was painfully obvious that he was lying. Kai scoffed. "I even bought you some bread. Never again." And just like that, the brown basket was tossed in the air and somewhere in the woods.

Kakashi sweatdropped. "Let's move on..." The sensei walked over to one of the three logs in the middle of the training grounds and placed a small clock on it. His students just watched, irritation slowly being forgotten. "Alarm set for twelve PM," he announced.

Kakashi then went in his back holster and took out a pair of silver bells, slightly shaking them. By now, the Genin were all curious. Well, except Kai. He was just excited.

"Today's topic is to get one of these bells from me," Kakashi explained. Ah, how he missed the days he would do this with his team. Now they were dead, sensei and all. "Whoever can't will have no lunch," he continued.

Naruto practically screeched in surprise. _What?!_

"I'm going to tie you there-" Kakashi pointed to the three logs. "-and eat lunch in front of you."

Kai grinned. "Sadistic or nah?" Kakashi blinked. _What?_ "It doesn't matter anyway. Naruto-kun, Sakura, and I already-"

"W-We did nothing, sensei!" Sakura interrupted, screaming over Kai. Was the boy trying to get them in trouble?

Sasuke, however, looked a bit sick. He still hadn't eaten breakfast - since Kakashi specifically said not to eat it and he didn't just go around breaking rules willy-nilly - and waiting for the Jōnin just made him hungrier.

"But, wait a second... Why are there only two bells?" Sakura then asked curiously. Did he mistakenly misplace the other two?

The Jōnin smiled. "Since there's only two, at least two of you will have to be tied to the log. Those two people will fail since they failed to complete the mission. They'll be the ones to go back to the academy." Giggling sadistically, he wiggled the bells again.

The Genin's faces all turned deathly serious. Well, except Kai, who was practically bouncing in excitement. _Did the kid not understand?_ Kakashi thought, puzzled.

"It might just be two, or all four of you on the logs. Well, not all four, since there's only three logs - but you get the picture, right?" Kakashi blinked again. He _would_ fail them if he had to. He _would_ fail them if he had to. He _wouldn't_ let his emotions get in the way of his decision. "You can use your shuriken. You won't be able to get these unless you have the will to kill me."

"But that's too dangerous, sensei!" Sakura shouted. What if they accidentally _killed_ him?!

Naruto nodded in agreement, grinning. "Y-Yeah! Yeah! You couldn't even dodge that chalk eraser!" Kai had to stifle his laughter.

"In society," Kakashi droned, dismissing their fears. "Those who don't have many abilities tend to complain more. Just ignore the guy with the lowest score."

Naruto's eyes widened while Kai burst out laughing.

"_Daaaamn!_ You just got turned down, Naruto-kun! Ahahahaha!"

"We're going to start after I say _ready, start,_" Kakashi explained, talking over Kai's laughter. Naruto wasn't listening, though; he was pissed. How _dare_ the late ass talk about him like that?!

Before Naruto even knew what he was doing himself, the blond flipped out a kunai and charged at the Jōnin. Sakura and Sasuke gasped while Kai yelled out, "Don't do it, Naruto-kun! He ain't worth it! He ain't worth it!" The boy paid the other no mind as he kept running towards-

Without breaking a sweat, Kakashi grabbed Naruto by the wrist and spinned him around so that Naruto's own kunai was an inch away from stabbing himself in the back of his head. Naruto blinked. Sakura blinked. Sasuke blinked. Kai blinked.

"Don't get so hasty," the sensei said. "I didn't say _start_ yet." Unknowingly, both Sakura and Sasuke took a step back just as Kakashi let Naruto go.

_No way, _Sakura thought, shocked. _I couldn't see him at all._

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. _So this is a Jōnin..._

The exuberant Uchiha turned to Naruto, who looked stunned. "First he put you on hush-mouth," Kai mumbled, smile twitching on his face. "Then he almost killed you. Be careful, Naruto-kun. Next he'll make you his bi-"

_"But," _Kakashi interrupted, giving the Uchiha a tired look. That kid was getting annoying. "It looks like you have the will to kill me now." He chuckled. Maybe he could start liking them? If they passed... And he _would_ test them fairly.

He _would_.

Kakashi's tone got serious. "We're going to start."

The four Genin tensed, a look of determination on Sakura and Sasuke's face, a smirk on Naruto's, and a goofy grin on Kai's. _Seriously... _

"Ready... **Start!**"

They each jumped away.

* * *

**"You know when you start feeling pains in your chest, and you just, like, stop everything for a whole ten seconds, waiting to have a heart attack?"**

* * *

_A basic technique for a ninja is to conceal their presence and hide, _Kakashi recited, calmly looking around. His four students were all hiding somewhere around him. They were good, but not that good. The Jōnin easily spotted them all: Sasuke hiding in a tree, Sakura in a bush, Kai standing stiffly beside one of the three logs, Naruto- _Wait, what the heck?!_

Kai had his eyes shut closed, hands by his side and fists clenched. Sweat rolled down his face. He looked as stiff as a board. Was he trying to hide behind the log? Or was he trying to - please don't be - _impersonate_ the log?

Kakashi simply tilted his head, deadpanning. He didn't even notice Naruto standing a few feet away, who was also staring at the Uchiha curiously. Sakura gaped while Sasuke twitched. _Idiot_.

There was a few seconds of silence...before Kai began mumbling to himself. "Log Transformation Technique, complete..."

"IT'S NOT!" Sasuke yelled, irritated. He was going to **fail** if he didn't take this seriously! What was he thinking?!

Abruptly, the raven sneezed. He sniffed, rubbed his nose, and then blinked. Suddenly, he looked very pale. What was going on?

"Oh, no," he muttered, looking at Kakashi fearfully. "My sneeze made the technique abruptly cancel!"

"IT WASN'T WORKING TO BEGIN WITH!"

"D-Does sensei see me, or..?"

"STOP BEING AN IDIOT!"

Kai suddenly jumped into action and sprinted far into the forest, leaving a bewildered Jōnin, a confused blond, a ticked off Uchiha, and a surprised pinkette. They all sweatdropped.

"A-Anyway..." Naruto turned to Kakashi, fists clenched and face back in it's determined way. "LET'S HAVE A MATCH FAIR AND SQUARE!"

A heartbeat of silence.

Sasuke clenched his teeth. _I'm surrounded by idiots._

"Um..." Kakashi was at a loss for words. These characters were getting erratic. "Hey, aren't you and that Uchiha boy a little weird compared to the rest?"

"What's weird is your hairstyle!" Naruto shot back before rushing the Jōnin. Kakashi waited until Naruto was close enough before going into his back weapons holster, testing the boy's reflexes. Just as he should have, Naruto stopped and hopped back, suspecting his sensei to throw a weapon.

_Maybe this kid does have some sense, _Kakashi thought, before starting to talk. "Ninja tactic know-how number one: Taijutsu. I'll teach you that first."

Naruto was confused. Taijutsu was fighting hand to hand, so why was he taking out a weapon? He glared. Whatever his stupid sensei was going to do, he'd be ready!

As quick as possible, Kakashi slid out a pink book with a man and a woman running together. Squinting, Naruto read the name. _Flirting Paradise. _What the hell..?

"What's the matter?" The Jōnin said, book open to a random page. "Come and get me."

"But, um...um... Why did you take out that book?"

"Why..? I got curious as to how the story will develop," he answered. "Don't worry about it. It's the same whether I read this or not."

Naruto snapped. That man had ridiculed him for the _last_ time! With a threatening battle cry, Naruto rushed Kakashi once again. "**I'M GOING TO POUND YOU!**"

The blond punched at Kakashi's throat, but the Jōnin simply caught Naruto's fist. Sucking his teeth, Naruto bent down and tried a roundhouse kick to Kakashi's head, but the Jōnin simply bent down. Now fully pissed, Naruto threw caution out the window and punched blindly at the man.

He missed.

Kakashi was nowhere to be seen.

Naruto blinked. "Huh?"

Unbeknownst to the hyper boy, his sensei was right behind him, fingers poised as if he was charging up for a technique.

"A ninja should not let the enemy get behind him multiple times, idiot," Kakashi mumbled.

Both Sakura and Sasuke recognized that seal. Kakashi was going to _kill_ Naruto if he did that! They were both too far to do anything, so what were they supposed to do?!

Sakura did what she knew best: screaming. "Naruto, run! You're going to die!"

The blond was confused. "Huh?"

"You're too late," Kakashi said, eyes flashing dangerously. Naruto turned his head...but it was too late. "**A Thousand Years of Pain!**" He jabbed his fingers in Naruto's butt.

_Click!_

Naruto felt like he was going to die. _He's shoving his fingers up my butt!_ But nobody cared about that at the moment. Didn't they just hear, like, a shutter sound? Everyone turned to the left to see...Kai with a camera in his hand, grinning widely.

He put the camera down. Now smirking. "Gotcha~."

Kakashi, realizing his fingers were still inside the boy, sent a burst of chakra through the tips and _pushed_ harder. Naruto screamed, flying far up in the sky and then plunging into the lake. Kai was literally _dying_, rolling around on the ground and laughing his ass off, all while waving the picture around in his hands. Sasuke and Sakura felt depleted. Things were just... Things just weren't going as they thought it would.

"Man, I wonder how the village would take _this_," Kai mused, now calmed down. Kakashi stared. "I can see the headlines already: _Sensei of both Uchiha boys is a major pervert/pedophile._ Tsk. Tsk. Tsk."

Kakashi kept staring. "It's a technique."

"Shoving your fingers up his ass? Sure." Kai yawned, feigning boredom. "Listen, I know you don't want this getting out to the public, right? Then do us all a favor and pass us and I just might _accidentally_ drop it in a fire. You choose, Kakashi-sensei."

Sasuke facepalmed. This guy didn't even sound like Kai anymore. He sounded more mature, so much sure of himself. Still, the guy was a complete idiot for doing something like this. Sakura, on the other hand, had hearts in her eyes. _Kai-kun really is cool!_

Before Kakashi could respond, shuriken shot out of the lake straight at him. Not even looking at them, Kakashi brought his finger up and caught them both, finger straight through the hole in the middle. Naruto came out seconds later, drenched from head to toe and thoroughly exhausted.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi turned away from Kai momentarily. "You won't get any lunch if you don't get a bell by noon."

"I already know!" He whined.

"You said you're going to exceed the Hokages, but your actions say otherwise."

Naruto growled. "Damn it! Damn it! I can still fight! Don't count me out just yet!"

Kakashi simply sighed before turning back to Kai, who was watching the scene in amusement. Seeing the scenes that happened in the anime in real life was making him ecstatic. Even though nothing really happened that directly involved him yet, he was having so much fun.

The Jōnin began walking towards Kai, making him tense up just slightly. "I'll deal with you now," he said.

"Damn it..! Damn it..!" Naruto dug his fingernails into the ground, cursing under his breath. Why was that stupid man ignoring him?! It wasn't fair! Why did no one ever take him seriously?! "I have to prove them wrong," he decided, trembling. "I can't... I can't fail at a place like this! I'm going to be a **ninja!**"

As soon as the words left his mouth, seven shadow replications jumped out of the lake, all of them focused on one thing: pummeling Hatake Kakashi to the ground.

"Heh-Hah! Security is your greatest weapon!" One of the clones - _maybe the real one? _- exclaimed. "This is my best technique: **The Shadow Replication Technique!**"

Sakura blinked. _There's seven Naruto's..? What? They're not afterimages. They're real?! _She watched carefully as they all charged at Kakashi, who seemed to forget all about Kai for that moment. That one moment was enough. As soon as the Jōnin turned his back, Kai rushed back into the woods, laughing all the while.

"Thanks for the distraction, Naruto-kun!"

Kakashi didn't care. He was busy staring at all of the Naruto's running at him. "Shadow Replications instead of just Replications?" His eyes narrowed. _It must be the forbidden technique he used to beat Mizuki. Assuming from his abilities, he can only use that for a minute. Even if he talks big, Naruto is still Naruto. He can't get me with that technique-_

Abruptly, he felt someone wrapping their arms and legs around his body. Eyes widening, he turned his head and saw Naruto holding him, a victorious smirk on his face.

The blond chuckled. "A ninja shouldn't let their enemy get behind them, right, Kakashi-sensei?" By now, all of the clones except one were grabbing all over the man's body, making sure he wouldn't be moving. "I used the Shadow Replication, let one sneak out from the lower part of the window, and made it sneak behind you!" The one that wasn't holding Kakashi down was now rushing towards him, fist pulled back. "I'm going to pay you back for that attack on my butt!"

_Naruto's pretty good, _Sakura thought, pretty amazed that the dead last of the academy was doing something like _that_.

Sasuke smirked. He, too, was surprised by Naruto's sudden development. _A feint operation, eh?_

"I'm going to punch you!" Naruto announced. And punch he did.

Only, it wasn't Kakashi.

The blond blinked. "Huh?" Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. Instead of the silver haired man, one of his replications was hit instead. He fell to the ground, a big bruise on his cheek.

"OWCH!" He screamed.

Naruto stared at his fallen replication. "You..." He was confused. He hit Kakashi, didn't he? He was supposed to. So... Why was..?

Then it hit him.

"YOU MUST BE KAKASHI-SENSEI! YOU TRANSFORMED, DIDN'T YOU?!"

And chaos ensued. All of the Naruto's began attacking each other, assuming that they were each Kakashi. Punch sounds rang out. Insults rang out.

"_You_ are!"

"_You_ must be!"

"You smell like Kakashi-sensei!"

"It's the smell of an old man!"

"You old man!"

"You old man!"

All the Naruto's were killing each other until one of them thought of something. Something smart.

"Hey, why don't we undo the replication? Then two will remain, and we'll know who is who."

"Why didn't you notice that earlier, idiot?"

"You're me, idiot!"

"I'm going to undo it now."

"Okay."

In a puff of smoke, all of the Naruto's were gone. Except one. The real one. He stood in the clearing alone, face beat up and bruised horribly. Kakashi still wasn't there. He was nowhere to be seen...

Sakura just stared, deadpanning. _Naruto...looks so uncool._

Sasuke stuck his nose up. _There_ was the Naruto he knew and hated. _That was the __**Replacement Technique**__, idiot. It's a technique where one uses an object or an animal to quickly change places with it and make the enemy think you were hit. Then you are able to attack the enemy's unguarded point. In this case, the Jōnin got caught by Naruto on purpose and quickly changed places with one of the replications of Naruto. Not only did he give the impression that he was hit...but he used Naruto's attack to his advantage._

The blond stared at the ground for a bit, whining to himself. That was so _unfair_. All of it was just so _unfair! _He tried his hardest, yet he couldn't get one of those bells. He couldn't even get one hit in! In the end, he ended up beating _himself_ up. So uncool...and so unfair...

In the corner of his eyes, something flashed. Something shiny. Curious, he turned to look at the shiny object...and realized that it was one of the bells! Kakashi dropped a bell!

He giggled goofily, face the perfect mix of mischievous and smug. "He must've been in a hurry if he dropped a bell~! Dropped a bell~!" Naruto rushed over and bent down to pick it up...but as soon as his fingers were inches away, a rope came from the ground and wrapped around his legs, pulling him up upside down. "WHAA?! What's this?!" He wiggled around, trying desperately to get out of the rope.

Sasuke shook his head. _It was a trap..._

Naruto continued struggling. "Hey! Hey, hey! Hey!"

_That Jōnin showed no unguarded point even when he was fighting with Naruto, _Sasuke thought, face stoic. He was planning on attacking when Kakashi was unguarded, but the man seemed to _always_ be guarded!

"THE BELL!" Naruto screamed, in tears. He tried so, _so_ hard to reach them, but they were just too far! Why?! Why?! Why?!

Kakashi leisurely jumped down from the tree that Naruto was connected to and picked up the bell. Naruto's heart dropped.

"Use your techniques after thinking carefully," Kakashi began to lecture in a loud voice. "That's why it was used to your disadvantage. And..." He smiled. A plastic smile. "Don't fall for such an obvious trap. Stu~pid."

The blond was pissed yet again. He screamed and shouted in fury, but Kakashi wasn't listening. Not in the slightest.

"Ninja need to think beyond the normal."

"I KNOW! I ALREADY KNOW!"

"Um, hey, I'm telling you this because you _don't_ know, got it?" The Jōnin was really enjoying this. He really was. And Naruto was still yelling out profanities and the like. "Your movements are filled with unnecessary motions."

Sasuke's eyes widened. _There!_ Right _there_, his guard was down! His guard was down! _He finally dropped his guard! _Sasuke took out and threw both kunai and shuriken at Kakashi. They were going to hit! They _had_ to hit!

Kakashi didn't notice the weapons flying at him from behind. He was still lecturing Naruto. "You're so-"

**"KAKASHI-SENSEI, WATCH OUT!"**

In a flash, Kai seemingly came out of nowhere and jumped at Kakashi, pushing him aside and horrifyingly taking the hit, all the weapons stabbing into and through his skin. Naruto gaped, Sasuke blinked, and Sakura looked completely horrified.

There was silence as Kai fell to the ground, mangled. And then there was the bloodcurdling scream.

_**"GYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"**_

_End of Chapter Three_

* * *

**Author's Notes: I'm so confused. Two weeks of school left, and I have three projects. Do all the teachers just get satisfaction in our misery? I don't know what's wrong with them, but it's pissing me off. Shouldn't we be watching movies and doing random fun activities now? Like, seriously...**

**So, if you're wondering why updates aren't as frequent as usual, blame school. And then my brother and I are usually up all night looking at anime on the weekends now, so even that time is sorta filled. **

**But don't worry, just wait until Summer Break. ^_^**

**BTW, sorry if this chapter is kinda boring. Next chapter will be better. Promise! :D And Kai's last scream was basically the same scream as Orochimaru's in Rock Lee and His Ninja Pal's last episode. That scream always makes me laugh. ^_^||**

* * *

**Reviewing the Reviewers**

**MythologyGirl: Aww! You're making me blush (doesn't mean you should stop, though)! I'm so glad you like Kai, and I thank you for the review! ^_^**

**Madame Mayhem: Ehehehehe! Thanks! Kai's just a fan favorite! Yet, he has no tact. =.= Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and I hope you like this chapter, too!**

**RibbonCrux149: Hehehe... All will be revealed soon enough, Ribbon-san. All will be revealed... *slides into darkness* ow. I hit the wall. Why is it so dark over here?**

**DarkLord98: What? Crazy? Kai? Uchiha Kai? Nonsense! /shot**

**PCheshire: Thanks! And no, this won't have yaoi. And... Sorry, but those two techniques aren't... Well, Kai won't have those two techniques. :'( Sorry...**

**WraithHeart: Yes, the almighty Tea-sama. :O A-Are you a Tea-ist, too? /shot. A-Anyway... Thanks for liking Kai, and thanks for reviewing! (Y-Yes! I'll update! I'll update until completion! Hopefully...)**

**WindWhistle21: Heh. As an Uchiha, it's obvious that Kai would use that saying and make you like it while also making you review. Duh~! Ah, and thanks! ^_^ I try... **

**DaOneInDaCorner: Aha! If I was an Uchiha, I'd abuse that status until the very end. You and Kai are more alike than you think, Corner-kun! *peeps through your window and scribbles down notes***

**Fandoulli: Thank you! Here, have a virtual cookie! Be careful, though. One wrong bite and you'll get shocked to oblivion. ^_^**

**anima: Thank you, Anima-san! I try to make Kai as cool as possible (but also realistic because we don't want a Gary Stu here). I actually really don't know why ninja don't do that more often. They should use their good looks to the fullest! And y'know, that pairing is looking more attractive in my eyes. I'll have a poll to see...maybe... Anyway, thanks for reviewing! :-D **

* * *

**Everyone, I hope you all liked this chapter, and I hope you all continue to review and make me smile! Bye-bii~!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes: BIRTHDAY UPDATE! I'M UPDATING GREY EYES, BREAKING THE CURSE, AND MUDDIED ORANGE TODAY - ALL ON MY BIRTHDAY! HOPE YOU FOLKS ENJOY! ^_^**

* * *

**Breaking the Curse**

_Chapter Four_

**"GYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"**

Uchiha Kai laid on the dusty ground, shuriken and kunai both stuck in his chest. Crimson blood sprayed out of his wiry body, mingling in with the dirt below. Again, he screamed in utter agony, pleading for the pain to go away.

**"GYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"**

Uzumaki Naruto stared at his best friend in shock, a few droplets of blood on his cheek. _Did… Did Sasuke do that? _His mouth was open so wide that he was certain a ball could fit in there. His eyes were open so wide that he felt like they going to roll out his head. Again and again he blinked, trying to make sense of what just happened.

Sasuke threw weapons at Kakashi. Kai jumped in the way. Kai was dying. Kai was dying right in front of him and he couldn't do anything about it.

_This… This can't be happening..!_

Sakura put a hand over her mouth, tears threatening to spill. Kai's screams echoed throughout her mind, tearing away her sanity bit by bit. She wanted to run over to the boy, run over and hold and comfort and help the raven desperately.

But she couldn't.

He knees felt like jelly, forcing her to her butt. Before she knew anything, she was crying. _Kai-kun's dying, and I'm sitting here, useless. So very useless. _

Kakashi was gone. That was the first thing Sasuke noticed after bunting his weapons. The second thing he noticed was that the blood spilt everywhere wasn't Kakashi's - which disappointed him deeply. The third thing he noticed was Naruto staring in consternation at Kai, Kai who was on the ground, Kai who was screaming, Kai who was bleeding, Kai who had _his _weapons in his chest.

_Oh shit._

Eyes widened, lips slightly parted, face paler than usual - Sasuke looked on as he stood in his tree and watched Kai dying on the ground._ I killed him,_ Sasuke thought. _I killed the only family I have left. I'm no better than that man. I'm garbage. I-_

Three clicks. Three flashes. And then laughter.

"Gyahahahahaha!"

Sasuke blinked. Instead of Kai's screams of anguish, he was rolling on the ground, laughing his idiotic laugh while holding his signature black camera. Getting off the ground, he pulled the various weapons out of his chest and then took off his shirt, revealing a hard protective vest. The 'blood' was simply hotsauce that sprayed out whenever something pierced the vest.

Holding the camera up again, he took pictures of each of their looks of disbelief, laughing again as he did so. The three Genin stayed silent, watching in stunned silence. After Kai took off the vest and put back on his hot sauce stained shirt, he looked at each of their stunned reactions once more before walking off into the forest, laughing hysterically.

* * *

"**Don't you just hate arrogant people? Like, seriously, **_**I'm**_** the Uchiha here."**

* * *

_Th-That idiot..! _Sasuke thought, twitching, barely containing in his anger. How **dare** he?! What in the hell was wrong with him?!

He jumped on another tree and hopped off that branch onto another. Kakashi was still gone, meaning that if he was half the Jōnin he claimed he was, that man should have determined his location. That meant Sasuke had to find a new location, and fast.

And if he somehow stumbled onto Kai, well, beating his grinning ass shouldn't be that much of a problem.

* * *

"**Most of the time when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time..."**

* * *

Sakura was more shocked than anything. Relieved? Definitely. Mad? Just a bit. And scared? Of course. It was obvious that their sensei was done with Naruto by the way he had the blond tied up. He would be going after her, she just _knew_ it. Kai's had too many surprise appearances and Sasuke was the one who threw the shuriken. She was the only who hadn't done a thing - and she couldn't pass by just watching, could she? No. She had to… She had to find Sasuke! Kai was too erratic and unpredictable; she didn't want to end up getting caught in another one of his practical jokes. He didn't even seem like he wanted to pass. She could bet that Sasuke wanted to pass, though, and if she was with him then she could pass, too!

Besides, her and Sasuke alone in the same team was _fantastic._

She jumped up from her sitting position and ran as fast as she could, pushing through tree branches and jumping over bushes. _Where is Sasuke-kun? _She asked herself, panting as she ran through the woods. She hadn't particularly known where he was. Heck, she had a better chance of running into Kakashi than Sasuke!

Suddenly, a terrifying thought rang in her mind. _Did sensei already get to him..? _No. _Nonono. _She willed herself to run even faster, dismissing the thought altogether. If Kakashi actually went for Sasuke instead of her...could her beloved actually fight the man off? No. She couldn't even imagine that happening, no matter how much she wanted to. She needed to be there for him! She needed to find Sasuke and think of a plan!

There was no way that silver-haired man would harm her Sasuke!

…

She blinked.

Right in front of her was her silver-haired sensei, back turned to her, reading that weird orange book. She stopped running almost instantly and jumped down into a bush, breath caught in her throat. She waited for what seemed like an eternity...but he wasn't moving. He was just standing there, reading. Shouldn't he be testing them?! Though she found it stupid to be, she was more angry than relieved. He was wasting time by reading some stupid book! What kind of sensei was he?!

_Still_, she thought, sighing. _I'm safe. He didn't notice me._

"Sakura," a familiar voice whispered. "Behind you." She snapped her head to her left...to see Hatake Kakashi, eyes dull yet serious. And scary. So freaking scary.

She couldn't help herself. Her heart felt like it was about to jump out her throat!

She screamed. She screamed as loud and high-pitched as possible.

* * *

"**Y'know, I find it amazing how you can find any Naruto pairing online. Orochimaru x Akamaru, people. SMH."**

* * *

Naruto knew what a joke was.

He knew what it was and what it was supposed to be like, and he could easily appreciate any kind of well-done prank. Kai's prank was a _bit_ overboard, but as long as the bubbly Uchiha was alright, well, he couldn't really be mad. Laughing at that would have been too much, though, even for Naruto. So he just inhaled and exhaled, trying to get his breathing back together. He'd never admit it, but that joke terrified him. He never thought that losing a friend, his _only_ friend, would have that instant effect on him.

Shaking his head of those taboo thoughts, he started thinking about his stupid sensei. 'Stupid' was an understatement, but his vocabulary wasn't the best, so 'stupid' would have to do. That man viciously humiliated him in front of everyone. He wanted revenge, but sadly, he didn't know how to get revenge on someone so fast and strong. How were they supposed to pass when their sensei was, like, uber strong?

It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense anymore after that man put his fingers in Naruto's butt, as crude as that sounded.

"_Ninja need to think beyond the normal?"_ He recited angrily, wriggling in the stupid trap. "Damn it, I'm never going to fall for his tricks again." Grabbing a kunai out of his holster, he cut the rope and skillfully landed back on the ground. Getting his bearings straight, he looked up and grinned. _Now_ he was ready to kick some a-

Suddenly, another trap was activated. The _same_ trap. The rope tightened around his ankle and pulled him up upside-down again. He blinked. He blinked again.

And then he was furious.

"**I FELL FOR IT AGAIN?!"**

* * *

"**I'm still on that Orochimaru x Akamaru pairing. Like, really people? Really?"**

* * *

Spinning. Everything was spinning. The clouds in the sky, the sky itself, the multitude of random leaves - everything seemed to be spinning around Sakura. Kakashi was nowhere to be seen - not like she'd be able to see him anyway with the world playing 'circle you, circle you' around her.

Abruptly, it stopped. The spinning stopped.

The questions shot out her mouth as soon as she got her bearings. "What? What was that? Hey, where did sensei go? What the heck?! What the..?" Sakura looked around for her sensei, for Sasuke, for _anyone_. But she found no one. She was alone in the woods.

"_Sakura..."_ Or so she thought.

The pinkette recognized that voice. "Sasuke-kun!" She spun around to see her beloved...and instantly her smile turned upside down.

"Sakura," Sasuke called out, pained. "Help me..!" He was on his knees, leaning on a tree. Blood framed his entire body, and multiple shuriken was stuck inside him, giving him a scary, crazed look. He wasn't crazy, though. He was hurt. He was dying. He was dying right in front of her...and he wanted her help...and...and she couldn't..!

A single tear slid down her cheek.

"**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

And just like that, Haruno Sakura fell over, and everything went dark.

Kakashi, watching on from a tree, nonchalantly flipped a page in his book. _Maybe I overdid it? _He thought indifferently. _But she should have noticed if it was real or not. _And just like that, he left, going off to find the moody Uchiha. He'd save the weird one for later.

...Sakura woke up minutes later, feeling extremely tired. Her eyes sorta hurt, and her brain felt...weak. It was weird. What was she doing on the ground in the first place?

Her eyes widened as her bearings came back to her. _Oh yes, I saw Sasuke-kun badly injured and I…_

"Sasuke-kun!" She stood up and shouted, desperate. "Please don't die and leave me behind! Where are you?!"

* * *

"**Bruh, do you need a snickers? You aren't you when you're hungry."**

* * *

_That must have been Sakura, _Sasuke figured, looking up at the sky. It seemed like Kakashi was starting to hunt them all down. First Naruto, then Sakura… It'd only be a matter of time before the Jōnin got to him. Maybe to get a bell, instead of avoiding the man, he had to seek him out? Would that work..?

Behind him, a familiar pair of bells jingled. "Ninja tactics know-how number two: Genjutsu," Kakashi explained. "Sakura fell for it so easily."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. _Genjutsu, eh? A type of hallucinatory mind-controlling technique. It's no wonder she fell for it so easily…_

"But," Sasuke replied, turning around to glare at the older ninja. "I'm different from them."

"Why don't you say that after you get a bell?" Kakashi taunted, orange book still in his hands. "Sasuke-kun."

With great speed, Sasuke flung out three shuriken at the Jōnin. Kakashi jumped to the side, avoiding the weapons by mere inches.

"There's no use in using just normal attacks," Kakashi lectured. To that, Sasuke simply smiled. He threw another shuriken, this one missing the older man completely and hitting a rope fixed in the air. The rope snapped, flinging multiple shuriken and kunai at Kakashi. _A trap! _Nonetheless, the Jōnin jumped out the way, use to all kinds of trap during his years.

Sasuke wasn't done, though. Before Kakashi could even get his bearings straight, Sasuke body-flickered behind the man, intent on relentlessly attacking him. He kicked at the man's head, but Kakashi wasn't a Jōnin for nothing. He blocked the kick and grabbed Sasuke's leg. The Uchiha still wasn't done; he was expecting that, actually. With more speed, he brought back his arm and delivered a punch that would have had a regular person staggering. But Kakashi wasn't a regular person. He grabbed Sasuke's fist, stopping the boy's movement.

And yet, Sasuke wasn't done moving. With his other leg, he aimed a kick at the top of Kakashi's head. Kakashi wasn't expecting the boy to be so fast and strong, but he was still quicker and stronger. He brought his arm up and blocked the kick that would have knocked out a regular person. Seemingly victorious, still holding Sasuke from knocking him out, Kakashi allowed himself a small beathure.

And yet, Sasuke still wasn't done. He had one more hand left, and he was going to use it the best way, the _only_ way he could. He reached for the bells, and then, Kakashi realized his mistake. He thought Sasuke was focused on hitting him, but he wasn't Naruto. Sasuke was smarter; the Uchiha was going for the bells the whole time. And now, there was nothing Kakashi could do to stop Sasuke from getting the bells and actually passing this impossible test.

Sending chakra to his feet, the Jōnin pushed away from Sasuke, sliding a few feet away. The Uchiha expertly landed on the ground, sucking her teeth and glaring. He was close._ So_ close.

_What a guy! _Kakashi thought, panting despite himself. _I don't have time to read Flirting Paradise. _

He'd have to get a bit serious, it seemed.

"I'll admit that you're different from those two," Kakashi said. Sasuke smirked arrogantly before quickly starting a series of hand seals.

_Horse. Tiger. _He built up chakra in his chest before letting it all explode out his mouth. _Fire Element: Blazing Fireball! _

_What? _Kakashi tensed, face incredulous. _That technique isn't something a Genin can do..! He shouldn't have enough chakra!_

Defying Kakashi's thoughts, Sasuke blew out a fireball at the Jōnin. He was engulfed in the flames. Sasuke's fireball lasted approximately ten seconds before he stopped the flames. The ground where Kakashi was standing was burnt to a crisp, black smoke all around it.

But no Kakashi.

_He's gone! _Sasuke spun around, trying desperately to find the Jōnin. _Is he behind me? No, above? Where is he?!_

"Beneath you!"

Suddenly, Kakashi's arm came from the ground below, grabbing Sasuke's ankle. Sasuke only had a second to look down before it was too late.

_Earth Element: Suicidal Beheading! _And Kakashi pulled.

The Uchiha's scream could be heard for miles.

Seconds later, Kakashi stood in front of Sasuke, who was stuck in the ground from the neck-down.

"This is the third ninja tactics know-how: Ninjutsu," the Jōnin explained. Sasuke clenched his teeth, feeling so...useless. "How is it? Can't move, right?"

In response, Sasuke looked away. He hated being looked down on. Literally _and_ physically.

"Looks like your talents are exceptional," the silver-haired man complimented. "But, well… They say that stakes that point out get driven back into the ground." With that, Kakashi walked away, and Sasuke sucked his teeth in fury.

"_Damn it..!"_

* * *

"**Stereotypes are wrong, people! Not all Hyuga are stuck-up! Not all Nara are smart! Not all Akimichi are fat! Not all Aburame like bugs! Not all Inuzuka like dogs! Not all Uzumaki are hyper! Not all Haruno are useless! All Uchiha **_**are**_** awesome, though. Ehehe..."**

* * *

Meanwhile, Kai was sitting on a rock, sighing boredly. When was sensei going to get to him? He heard Sakura scream already, _twice_, so why was Kakashi taking his sweet time getting to him? He wanted some action! He _needed_ some action! Sitting around waiting for some lazy man was boring him.

And he was getting hungry. _Really_ hungry, in fact.

He jumped off the rock, deciding to walk around. Maybe something exciting would happen to him then? He didn't really know nor care; he just needed to do _something._

In the corner of his eye, he saw movement. And then he heard squawking. Multiple squawking. He turned his head...and his eyes instantly lit up.

"Itachi-kun?"

* * *

"**Hey! Make sure you guys review! For every review I get, the funnier and crazier I am! ...Is...Is that what I'm supposed to say, Author-san?"**

* * *

Naruto was still hanging upside down, looking around the training grounds. His eyes trailed to the three logs in the middle of the grounds, and then they trailed to behind them. A stone cenotaph was there...and on top of the cenotaph were...two lunchboxes!

"There's lunch on the rock!" He exclaimed happily. Things might just go his way this time! His thoughts drifted to what his sensei said earlier. "_Ninja need to think beyond the normal,_ eh?"

With those thoughts, he snickered mischievously.

Cutting himself down again and jumping away before another trap could get him, he headed towards the lunches. Nobody stopped him. When he got there, he sat on the rock and grabbed a lunch. Nobody stopped him. He picked up a pair of chopsticks and grinned, almost laughed. Nobody was stopping him! He'd get away with this!

"All I have to do is eat this while hiding instead of getting a stupid bell!" He explained to himself, ecstatic. "Time to eat!"

"Hey."

Kakashi's monotone voice made Naruto freeze. The blond almost dropped the chopsticks to the ground, shocked beyond belief. _Wh-What..? H-How..?_

Naruto tried to save himself before it was all too late. "Th-That was a joke and..."

"Too late!"

* * *

"**Time for what you've all been waiting for! Uchiha Kai vs. Hatake Kakashi!"**

* * *

_Now it's time for the last one, _Kakashi thought, nonchalantly walking through the woods. He'd knocked Sakura unconscious, literally knocked Sasuke down a few pegs, and personally took care of Naruto. Kai was the only one left, and honestly, Kakashi was anxious to see if the boy was as good as his cousin.

Suddenly, Kakashi heard screaming and yelling. _Kai's_ screaming and yelling. The Jōnin also picked up a substantial amount of cawing, interestingly enough. _Now what's he doing now?_

"...AWAY..! ...OFF..!"

Kakashi turned and got closer to the noise, really intrigued now. What was going on? What was he screaming, and who was he screaming at?

"GO...AWAY..! ...THE...OFF..!"

Kakashi got closer and closer until...he was met with Kai on the ground, a basket of bread in his arms. All around him was crows, pecking and screeching and desperately trying to get the bread. Kai was desperately wanting the opposite.

"**GO THE FUCK AWAY!**" Kai screamed, punching a black crow off of him. Another one quickly took it's spot, pecking at the raven like no tomorrow. "**GET THE HELL OFF!**"

_Just give them the bread, _Kakashi thought, crossing his arms and watching dully. The Jōnin thought the Uchiha was just playing another prank, but after a minute of watching the kid fighting off the crows, he realized that Kai was deathly serious. _Wow, _he thought. _The first time I see him remotely serious, and he's fighting off a horde of crows. Fighting them off over a basket of bread, no less._

Kakashi continued watching in amusement now, while Kai was slowly losing it. Why in the world did he think those crows were Itachi? Why in the world did he think he could fight them off from eating his precious bread (he was hungry, damn it!)? And why was his sensei just sitting there and watching?

_These crows are obviously ninja-trained! _Kai thought grimly, knocking another one of them right on their beak. _Heck, these things could take on the entire Akatsuki! When Pein attacked, all they needed to do was release these crows and I swear he would've turned tail and ran! Now I know why Itachi-kun uses these things so often! These crows are lethal, damn it!_

He swiped; they came back and pecked. He punched; they came back and pecked harder. He flailed; they all seemed to take out bats and beat him to death. No matter what he did, they continued to peck and peck. And it _hurt._ But he wouldn't give in. No, he'd show those crows! They had to get tired sometime soon, and then he'd be the one with the bread, victorious!

The thought made him smile despite the pain...but the pain was still there...and there was nothing he could do to get the birds off of him. Naruto was probably tied up by now, Sasuke was probably still underground, and Sakura wouldn't know what to do. Kakashi, his only hope, _his beloved sensei_, was just standing there in what was undoubtedly glee.

_I guess I had it coming to me with all the jokes and pranks, _the raven thought sadly, his whole body hot in pain. _This is retribution for me not taking things seriously… Damn it..!_

He couldn't do anything anymore. Flailing was getting less and less appealing, and being surrounded by all those black crows - by the _darkness_ - was making him sluggish. _Not again, _he thought, curling himself up into a ball, tears springing. _He's dead… It can't happen again..!_

With those thoughts, he allowed the darkness to overcome him, just as Kakashi finally decided to step in.

* * *

"**...Woah. That...got dark. Totally unexpected, right?"**

* * *

The four Genin all sat in front of the logs, feeling totally defeated. Even _Kai_ looked like a kicked puppy, which shocked mostly all of them. What did Kakashi do to _him?_ Apparently, Kai didn't want to talk about it, because he was deathly quiet.

The hyper blond and the exuberant raven were both tied to the logs, Naruto with a deadpanned expression and Kai with a _whatever_ look. Sakura and Sasuke sat on either sides of them. Two bento boxes were placed in front of them...and they were _all_ hungry. _Starving_, actually. They were so hungry, in fact, that all of their stomachs growled at the exact same time - no matter how impossible that would be realistically.

Kakashi stood in front of them all, arms crossed and disapproving look on his face. "_Oh?_ Your stomachs are growling, eh?" Nobody talked. The mood seemed to actually spiral down. Kakashi acted like he didn't notice as he put up a finger. "By the way, about the results of this training..."

_We failed, _Kai mused in his head, rolling his eyes.

"You all pass." Kakashi smiled, shocking all of them, _especially_ Kai. What...was going on? "No need to be surprised. You all tried your hardest and I can respect that. I think if I can teach you all a few extra things, you guys'll be the strongest Genin of your year. All three of you."

Sakura wanted to jump up and cheer._ She wouldn't be separated from Sasuke! She'd be in a Genin team with both Uchiha boys and everything would be amazingly fantastic!_

That's what she wanted to think, but something was off. Her sensei said all three of them. There were _four_ of them, last she checked. Did he not know how to count either?

She spoke up: "There's four of us, sensei. Not three. You made a mistake."

The Jōnin smiled again. "No, I was right. _Three._ Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and you, Haruno Sakura." He looked directly at Kai, whose mouth was agape in shock. "Uchiha Kai, you don't need to go back to the ninja academy. You should just quit being a ninja!** You fail!**"

_End of Chapter Four_

* * *

**Author's Notes: Oh shit… Look at what trouble Kai's gotten himself into now. Tsk tsk tsk…**

* * *

**Attention: So far, this story has 44 reviews, 119 followers, and 91 favorites! Also, this story is in 4 communities! I...don't even know what to say to this. This is the 4th chapter, and...we're already up this far. I really have no words for this. This story has more followers than Grey Eyes, and that's in it's 28th chapter! *sniff* Thanks alot, guys. I love all of you!**

* * *

**Reviewing the Reviewers**

**Kashlazy: Not as better as this cliffhanger, right? ^_^ #cliffhangersforlife**

**Madame Mayhem: I'm glad that you loved last chapter and Kai and his idiocy! And your wishes were granted! Kai is miraculously unharmed, though those crows really did a piece on him...**

**Where's the mayo: BREATHE, MAN! BREEEATHE!**

**WindWhistle21: omgomgomg you've done the heart thing, too? I just get so scared and be like, "well, I guess this is how I'm going out. A heartattack. Just great." But then nothing happens and I carry on with meh life. 0_0 Oh. **_**Ooooh.**_** So **_**you're**_** the masked individual wearing all black outside my story's house. ._. C-Could you...maybe...go away? /shot**

**ssjzohan: :o I didn't add a bye-nii? Tha-That's preposterous! I ALWAYS- **_**Ooh.**_** Sharingan Kai? *determined face* I'll start writing immediately.**

**almakarma18: ...Epic scene! :D**

**ArtemisKirara7: *In walkie-talkie* We've brainwashed one. I repeat, we've brainwashed one.**

**WraithHeart: *nervously laughs* ...That was TOTALLY his strategy! But Kakashi ran away before he could implement it…yeah. That's it. o_o OMG I'LL UPDATE I'LL UPDATE PLEASE DON'T SHOOT I HAVEN'T CLEARED MY BROWSER HISTORY YET! /shot**

**Jack's Ace: Another cliffhanger to you, my good sir. *looks away awkwardly* ...Hope you aren't mad about the lack of updates...**

**MythologyGirl: :o I think I'm gonna go to jail if I keep writing this fic. People are injuring themselves all over the place… *smirks* And now you know, Mythology-chan!**

**DaOneInDaCorner: 0_0 Omg. Just thinking about how that'd turn out...makes me smile. And when I smile, you know something good is gonna happen. Or somebody died. Same thing. :/ And you think so? I don't know… I think Grey Eyes was kinda iffy, and I feel this chapter lacked the comedy. I need something back-breaking hilarious to happen next chapter, dattebayo!**

**AbsoluteZer0Nova: Cliffhangers everywwhereeee! And I know, right? Kakashi...really needs to fix himself. What was he thinking when he did that?! If I was Naruto, I don't think I could be around him alone...or even with people around. *shivers***

**Guest TBG: **_**Ooooh!**_** An advertisement in my review section! Sweet! ^_^**

**Update Zombie: May the logs be forever with you, my dear Update Zombie.**

**Guest: Thank you so much! Kai loves you, too, Guest-san! And...KAI WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO POOR NARUTO-KUN! OMG EVEN THE THOUGHT OF THAT *bristles* I'm sorry. Rage moment. lol Anyway, yeah, I'm definitely keeping at this! One chapter at a time...one chapter at a time...**

**Sezu-Ni: So much laughter. Well, you know what they say. A laugh a day keeps the doctor away (they're secretly allergic to laughter). Kai is impossible because he's...not possible. It's impossible to possibly to possible, understand? That means nothing is impossible...I think. I don't know. Maybe? Oh, and a snapping Hinata would be golden! I need that to happen, uh-huh!**

**thelonelylovechild: *cries* I'm sorry! Hopefully this cliffhanger doesn't anger you! lol**

**TooLazyToLogIn: Your wishes...have been granted. ^_^ (Now where's my t-shirt? And picture?)**

**Guest: Another one bites the dust from laughing at my story. SMH. I'm going to jail. I'm really going to jail.**

**Guest: GO, UPDATE! *throws at you* I-Is this fine, Guest-san?**

**yui639: Thank you! I'm glad you like this and I'm glad you think this is funny! (But wait. You laughed literally loud? You lll'd?) Omg thank you! Happy belated birthday to you, also! ^_^ Bye-nii~!**

* * *

**Well, guys, today is my birthday: June 4th! I expect, y'know, a happy birthday or something…**

**Sorry for the very, very, very late chapter btw. Sorry for not updating anything in a very long time actually. If you don't already know, my tablet was stolen, and I write EVERYTHING on my tablet. It's been a struggle: getting over my lost tablet, getting use to writing on the computer, and then all this other stuff that popped up. But now after getting my new I-Pad Mini, I should be able to write like I used to. So...yeah. :P**

**Bye-nii~! (And don't forget it's my b-day!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Breaking the Curse**

_Chapter Five_

"Uchiha Kai, you don't need to go back to the ninja academy. You should just quit being a ninja! **You fail!**"

The look of complete shock on Kai's face was painful to look at. His face paled dramatically, eyes widened in disbelief. He..._failed_..? And...the rest _passed_..? No… No, that wasn't how it was supposed to go. They were all supposed to fail, he'd give them one more chance, they'd feed Naruto, and then they'd all pass! What was that silver-haired man spouting..?

"B-But-"

"But _what?_" Kakashi's tone got dangerously seriously, eyes stabbing daggers. And for some reason, Kai was...scared. "But you _can't_ fail? Because you're an _Uchiha?_ Is that it?" The Jonin bent down closer to the raven, who gulped. "Listen here; nobody cares what you are in a real fight to the death. When your teammates are captured as a hostage, do you think talking about your heritage will save you?"

Kai slowly shook his head, as if mesmerized.

The man stood back up straight and clapped his hands cheerily, to the disbelief of his students. "Well, now that that's over with… Let's go, Team Seven." He turned around and started walking away, motioning for Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke to follow.

But they didn't.

"Ka-Kakashi-sensei," Sakura mumbled, torn. If she got up and followed...Kai would never trust her again. They wouldn't even be able to see each other! "Wh-Why did Kai-kun fail..?"

It was a question they all wanted to know. Sakura knew that Kai was more experienced than her by, like, a lot. If she passed and Kai failed...then what were they graded on? All she did was scream and faint. Was that okay?

"Do not question me," he replied, back turned to them. "If you are on my team, stay here. I will be back in fifteen minutes. If you are not on my team, go back to the academy and give Iruka your headband and ninja gear." Before he could even make so much as a step, Naruto was screaming.

"B-But, but, but..! You can't just fail Kai! He didn't do anything wrong!" The blond was thrashing against his ropes now, fists clenched. "You have to at least give us a reason - damn it!"

The Jonin turned around then, face deadpanned. "Kai is a wreck. A big fat _wreck_. He's never serious, and he nearly traumatized you three. Why would you want to be on a team with a loose cannon like him? From what I've witnessed, he'd probably _laugh_ if one of you died."

"I wouldn't!" The boy insisted, voice wavering. Kakashi didn't seem like he was joking, and Kai did **not** want to fail. If he failed...everything he wanted to do...all his fun...it'd be over.

That'd be _horrible_.

"I can be serious…" Kai continued, looking down. "I promise. I...I'll be serious. I will." He looked up again, eyes watery. "Just give me one more chance, sen-"

The Jonin didn't skip a beat. "No." With that, he turned around and body-flickered, not before giving the instructions once again: "If you're with me, stay here. If you aren't, go to the academy."

And that was it.

There were no tricks, no laughter, no camera flash. There was nothing but silence as dread overcame the team. Kai failed. He failed and they passed. There was no discussion, no ifs, ands, nor buts about it.

They passed.

But Kai failed.

Shouldn't they be happy?

Naruto wasn't happy. Not in the slightest. Sure, Kai could be called weird, playful, and/or eccentric. And he was always playing tricks and jokes on people. But so did Naruto! They were best friends for a reason! Naruto really liked Kai, so for him to not be on the team with them… That sucked. That sucked too much. So much, in fact, that it made Naruto not even want to be in Kakashi's stupid squad.

Sakura was, as usual, torn between following the rules or following her heart. The rule side of herself told her to just sit down and wait for her unfair sensei...but her heart told her differently. Sasuke was still on her team, so she wasn't entirely distraught. But Kai… She liked Kai almost as much as she did Sasuke. What would she do if the roles were reversed between Kai and Sasuke? Would she completely abandon Sasuke like she was about to do to Kai? No… No, she wouldn't. She'd follow Sasuke to the ends of the world. If she was really a good person, a good teammate, a good girlfriend...then she had to do the same for Kai!

Sasuke closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, trying to control his emotions before they spilled. Kai was stupid. He was an idiot, a retard, a complete imbecile. But he was still Sasuke's cousin. He was still Sasuke's only worthwhile family member. He hated his teammates; Naruto was too loud and too aggravating, while Sakura was too weak and too annoying. Kai was the only one he was use to, and he was the only one that wasn't completely useless to him. For Kakashi to fail him just because he was a little...erratic...that wouldn't do. Not to an Uchiha that could beat half of this so-called squad.

"Sakura," Kai mumbled, eyes dulled. He didn't look at all like how he usually did. "Cut me out, please..."

Sakura wanted to shake her head and cry and hug the mess out of the raven...but she didn't. She simply took out a kunai and gingerly cut the ropes binding the Uchiha to the log, tears welling up. She did the same to Naruto, just because she knew Kai would've wanted that.

"...Well," the Uchiha mused, voice distant. He looked over his shoulder at his team...his _used-to-be_ team. "For the limited amount of time I've been with you three... It was fun."

Naruto had to say something. _Anything_ to bring back the old, playful Kai. "Y-You'll still see us! Not being on the same team doesn't mean we can't still be best friends!" It didn't...right? Naruto wasn't too sure; Kai was the only best friend he ever had.

The raven shook his head. "We'll grow apart. You'll grow up to be fighting epic swordsmen and ice wizards, sand sorcerers and pedo snakes. I'll just be sitting on the couch, getting fatter and fatter until I blow. And no, Sakura, not in that way."

The pinkette blushed profusively. She _was_ thinking that way...

"B-But... We can still be together, Kai-kun," she said, reaching out to touch the boy's shoulder. She whispered, "If you haven't noticed, Sasuke-kun and I aren't...y'know..."

"Facebook official? I know. Everyone knows." He sighed at her confused look. "Anyway, you'll end up going out with Iwa-nin. You're a thot like that."

Sakura tilted her head, deadpanning. _What is he spouting? Does he usually say random things nobody knows about when he's depressed? What is Facebook official? And what's a thot? And why would I be going out with an Iwa-nin?!_

Kai looked at Sasuke, expecting the other Uchiha to say something. And so Sasuke did. "You live with me," he stated, and Kai nodded...before shaking his head again.

"No, you'll end up forgetting about me, too. You'll come home from a mission and be like, _'who's that super attractive black-haired boy, and what's he doing in my apartment?'_ Or worse, you'll end up treating me like some maid and demand me to clean up and iron and make food, because I'm just a freeloader and I gotta find _some_ way to-"

"**THAT'S ENOUGH!**" Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke all screamed. Kai blinked, body stiff, tears welling up. No, he couldn't cry. He would **not** cry. Getting beaten by those crows were bad enough, but he would **not** ruin his Uchiha pride anymore by crying in front of them.

He'd cry away from them.

"I'm...sorry that I constantly joked around. I...was a...burden..!" And with that, Kai turned heel and ran away, getting as far as possible from his team.

His _old_ team.

* * *

**"...Polar Bears are left-handed."**

* * *

_Stop crying_, he told himself, but the tears wouldn't stop. He felt so distraught, so humiliated, so...dumb. So very _dumb_. Why did he have to play around so much? Why couldn't he have done what Jalen from Naruto: The New Story did and be serious? Everything went exactly as the anime willed it to, and that was because Jalen wasn't interested in messing with people - in pranking and photographing their reactions.

Why couldn't Kai be more like Jalen? Why did something so dramatically surprising have to happen? The people in fan-fiction made it look so easy...

The villagers could all see him walking, but they couldn't see his face. He picked up a bunny mask before deciding to walk through the busy village streets, so they couldn't see the tears. It wouldn't do for them to see one of the last Uchiha walking down the street crying. He would not allow that; going around _naked_ seemed better than that.

Still, he was _crying_. No-one could see it, but he was...and he didn't like crying. It reminded him of his darker days - the secrets that needed to be kept in the closet. Kept deep in the closet to never see the light again...literally and metaphorically.

He shook his head, sniffing. He'd better stop thinking of back then. Those days were over. Over. ...Just like his fun in the Naruto Universe. Everything was over because he was stupid and wouldn't take things seriously.

Knowing the future had its downfalls after all.

Kakashi was being totally cruel and unfair to him, though. Failing him just because he liked to have fun didn't make any sense. Kai was ready. Too ready, in fact. More ready than Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, even Kakashi himself!

_I guess I won't be drawing on Haku's Ice Mirrors,_ he thought sadly, smiling despite himself. The crying eased up a bit, but the sniffs were constant. _And I won't be able to take a picture of Sasuke-chan and Naruto-kun's second kiss - or first since the first one didn't happen this time. That would have been amazing blackmail. _

His thoughts went elsewhere; it was beginning to get too depressing. He didn't want to think of his old team. They simply let him go, trying to persuade him that failing was okay. It wasn't okay, and there was nothing that would make him say otherwise. He failed and he wouldn't be a ninja and his fangirls would all be devastated. It was an awful reality...

...But a reality nonetheless.

And though he felt it incredibly impossible, he had to move on. He had to forget about being a ninja and...and take up collecting cats. Yeah, cats were fun. He'd love a cat. Someone, _anyone_ to take him away from the constant pain in his heart.

He wasn't used to failing.

And failing the most important thing in the world wasn't that good a feeling either.

* * *

Hiding behind shops and deep in the shadows, multiple girls stared at Kai as he walked through the streets. The hot Uchiha looked...sad? Kai was never sad. And where was his stoic, hot cousin? Usually he'd be walking the streets with Sasuke, and on occasion that other blond boy they cared nothing about. What was his name again? Naruta? Menma?

They all simultaneously shook their heads. They needed to get back on track: Kai was walking alone and he looked sad. This...

This was their chance to woo him!

"KAI-KUN!"

The boy looked up to see a multitude of girls running at him, all of them desperately trying to one-up each other. When they caught up to him, they all formed a circle, making it impossible for him to escape.

Kai barely blinked, willing his voice to sound as bored as possible. "Is there something you ladies want?"

_You!_ They all thought, giggling. But the head lady, Marriane, was the one to speak.

"You seem down, Kai-kun," she said gently. "What's the matter? You can tell us anything..."

"So you seriously think I'm going to believe that BS?" He snapped, eyes sharp. He couldn't believe them! Trying to get him when he's vulnerable; it pissed him off! "All you dumb bitches just want the D! Well I'm sorry to say but I'm not giving it out to just any random whore who begs! I'm much more than a walking sex-doll, and you stupid cunts better believe it!" His voice lowered. "So the next time you idiots run up to me feigning concern just because there's an off chance you might get lucky - don't. Don't even fucking look at me after this, or I swear to Tea-sama that I'll Tsukiyomi all eight of you **STRAIGHT** to Hell!"

...There was silence.

* * *

**"...Butterflies taste with their feet."**

* * *

Kai walked inside of his old classroom, a dark aura around him. Iruka looked up from his paperwork, confusion settled on his face.

"Ah...Kai? What're you doing he-"

"I've decided to not be on Squad Seven anymore," the raven abruptly interrupted. "Kakashi-sensei's a raging perv that sticks his fingers up children's butts and randomly takes out porn. I have the pictures to prove it."

He went in his pockets and took out three pics. One was of Kakashi sticking his fingers up Naruto's butt, the second was of Kakashi reading his Flirting Paradise, and the third was of him hiding in a bush, a lecherous smile on his face as he stared at Sakura's butt.

"The third one may be a bit photo-shopped, but it's basically the same thing." Kai put the pictures back in his pocket, ignoring Iruka's shocked look of disbelief. "Anyway, I demand to be put on another team - preferably Team Ten. I can't be on Team Eight because Kiba be asking to get these hands, and I can't be with a Hyūga," the boy explained, tapping his feet impatiently. "As an Uchiha, I think I deserve to get a team switch whenever I want, right?"

Iruka didn't even have the strength to shake his head. Was Kakashi really a giant pervert? His eyes widened. What if the man actually raped the kids but then erased their memories with the Sharingan eye? Oh no... Naruto was in trouble then!

Then his thoughts went over to his sensible side. Why was Kai the only one who escaped and got actual evidence to back it up?

Before Iruka could interrogate the could-be witness to Kakashi's demons, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke all rushed in the room, breathing heavily, their clothes torn. What?!

Kai turned around and looked panicked for a bit...before shaking his head and using the sudden interruption to his favor.

"You... You guys escaped from Kakashi-hentai!"

Naruto ran up and hugged Kai, tears running down his face. "He... He tried to take my clothes off!"

Kai pushed Naruto off and grabbed him by the shoulders, checking his best friend over for any bruises. "...Thank God you're safe!"

Iruka was visibly distressed now. He ran over, closed the door, and locked it. He didn't want Kakashi nonchalantly coming in and killing them all.

"Please, Naruto," Iruka urged, looking the younger blond straight in his tear-filled eyes. Then he noticed something. "...Hey. You don't look hurt at all for someone who just escaped from Hatake Kakashi."

"MY CLOTHES!" Sakura abruptly screamed, falling onto her knees and crying. "MY DIGNITY! He... HE STOLE MY PURITY!" As haunted as it was, Iruka noticed the hole in Sakura's shirt. And the..._white_...on her mouth.

The Chūnin teacher then looked at Sasuke, who was strangely quiet. The boy only had a tear on the back of his shirt, but nothing else seemed to be wrong with him. He looked as bored and passive as ever.

"Kakashi couldn't handle me," the Uchiha mumbled. He then looked away, a small blush on his face. "He was... I was too...e-experienced..."

He wouldn't continue. He continued to stare at the ground, red blush on his face growing. In the corner of his eye, Iruka saw Sakura blushing also, Naruto and Kai stifling laughter...and Hatake Kakashi sitting on the table, looking highly unamused.

...Wait.

Iruka almost jumped out his skin. "**GAH!** K-Kakashi-san!"

The Jōnin simply smiled. "How do you do, Iruka-san?"

The teacher took out a kunai and glared at the more experienced ninja, standing protectively in front of the kids. "Is that all you have to say, Kakashi-san?! You've completely traumatized these kids - ruined their entire lives actually - and all you can say is _'how do you do?!'_"

Before Kakashi could reply, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke all ran in the room, panting.

...Wait.

Iruka stared in confusion as the Team Seven duo stared at each other, the one that came in first looking shocked while the ones that just came in looked confused. Kai had his mouth wide open, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

Iruka shook his head tiredly. Everything was getting so very confusing.

"Kai-kun..?" Sakura started, staring hard at her double. "...Who are these people..?"

The first Sakura smirked. "What? Jealous that Kai-sama actually likes me and not some ugly girl with a gigantic forehead?" _Kai-sama?!_

"**FIRST OF ALL, GET OFF OF YOUR KNEES, SLUT!**" Inner Sakura exclaimed. Out loud.

The first one flipped her pink hair, standing up. She pointed at the white substance on her face. "Heh. At least _I've_ got experience, cherry-girl." _Cherry-girl?!_

Before the two Sakura could try and kill each other, Naruto stepped up, looking curiously at his clone. "I don't remember doing a Shadow Replication..."

"You didn't, idiot," the first Naruto said, scoffing. "Seriously, is my doppelgänger this dumb?"

"**HEY!** I'm not dumb!" Naruto crossed his arms, pouting. Everyone always called him dumb! "And hey, if I'm dumb, then you are too - 'cuz you're me! Aha!"

The first Naruto crossed his arms, looking away. "I graduated first in my class from Yale University - the most prestigious school in the world. I'm the only student to achieve a 5.0 GPA and I'm on multiple magazines and talk shows as The Smartest Kid in the Universe. Honestly, if you were to take an I.Q Test, you'd score in the negatives." The first Naruto then smirked. "Oh yeah, and my favorite foods are vegetables. I **hate** ramen."

"**GAH!**" Naruto flew into a wall, blood squirting out of his mouth. "DOESN'T LIKE RAMEN?! THAT'S A CRITICAL HIT - BELIEVE IT!"

Kai looked towards Sasuke, expecting them to do something totally hilarious, too.

"Who are you, and why do you look like me?" Sasuke grumbled, eyes colder than ice.

"Kai-sama made me for one function and one function only," the other Sasuke replied, almost metabolically. "Convince Iruka-sensei that Kakashi is a sexual abuser capable of raping kids and erasing their memory of it ever happening. I, however, managed to best him at his own game by pushing ba-"

"**FIRE ELEMENT: BLAZING FIREBALL!**"

Sasuke blew out a giant fireball that engulfed all three copies, Kai stepping out the way at the last minute. They all screamed in anguish, begging for the pain to stop. And then, just like that, they all exploded in a puff of smoke and it was over.

...There was silence.

Kakashi jumped off the counter, staring at Kai. "Do you need to explain yourself, Kai-kun?"

The Uchiha shook his head, looking to the ground. "My plan failed. There's nothing else I can really do..." He looked up and sighed, taking off his ninja headband and ninja gear. "I'm sure Madara and Obito-kun would love another Uchiha in their midst..."

"Wait, what's going on?!" Iruka demanded, not at all hearing what Kai just said. "I am so confused!"

"The exuberant Uchiha here failed my test and tried to trick you into believing some twisted story." In a flash, Kakashi sped over to Kai and snatched the pictures from his pocket. With a smile, he tore them in itty-bitty pieces.

Kai looked at the Jōnin in disbelief...before deadpanning. _I hate you. _

It took a lot for Kakashi not to laugh. _I know_.

The silver haired man turned to look at his other three students. "And since you three are here, that means you also want to fail, right?"

"We don't want to fail!" Naruto exclaimed, clenching his fists. "But it's not fair that Kai fails and we don't! He-He-He's my best friend and I refuse to be on a team without him - believe it!"

"That's great." Kakashi smiled, clapping. "Then you won't. You fail also."

The look of complete and utter hopelessness and hatred on the pre-teen's face was enough to burn down the village.

Kakashi looked over at Sakura and Sasuke. "You two wanna fail, too? If not, get out."

"I..." Sakura didn't know what to do. Fail and possibly end up getting together with Kai? Or pass and end up getting together with Sasuke? And honestly, she didn't think Sakura had the hots for her just about yet. She gulped. "I'm... I'm not going! I'm staying with Kai-kun and Naruto!"

Sasuke closed his eyes, sighing, not knowing at all why he was about to do what he was about to do. "Me neither," he mumbled. "It isn't fair that Kai was booted off when he's arguably the strongest person on the team. If you rebuke your decision, then I'll come back to you..."

"There's no need, Sasuke-kun," Kakashi growled, eyes dark and threatening. Iruka was in the background now, watching silently. "You fail. You ALL fail! I'm the rule here, and you idiots didn't follow it, so you all fail! You three will never be shinobi!"

Sakura was in tears, sniffing. Sasuke was angry, so very angry. Kai was too long gone to know what to feel. None of what was happening now happened in the anime, so...what was he supposed to do? He really didn't know.

"But, but, but..!" Naruto couldn't believe it. He really, _really_ wanted to be a ninja!

"...That's what I _would_ say," Kakashi suddenly mused, the air in the room becoming breathable. "...If none of you had come, then I would have said that. But, surprisingly, you all came. You all put your teammate before yourself. That's what a real shinobi does." The Jōnin smiled. "You all pass."

...There was more silence.

Kai was the one to break it. "...Deceiving ass bitch."

_End of Chapter Five_

* * *

**OVA**

The group of girls wept silently in their corner. Kai, like, went ape shit on all of them...and Kai _never_ went like that. They expected that from Sasuke, but not Kai. Never Kai.

They all continued crying, wiping the tears from their faces and the snot from their noses. Why did Kai say all those hurtful things? Why didn't he love them?

"Umm...girls..."

They all looked up simultaneously, something that always creeped the Uchiha out. But he didn't voice his thoughts like last time, though. This time, he walked over and got on his knees, bowing.

"I don't know what I was saying earlier. I'm so sorry. I'm truly very, very sorry." His voice bordered on annoyance and sadness. "Please forgive me..."

**"GET HIM!"**

Just like that, they all jumped the poor kid, who was now screaming hysterically. Marriane was the first one on top of him, a kunai to the boy's throat. "Ah, Kai-kun. We could never be mad at you... We were just faking because we knew you'd come back to apologize. You're painfully nice like that, and that's why we love you, my sweet little perfect Kai-kun."

Screams could be heard all night...and nobody came to help the poor raven.

* * *

**OVA 2**

Kakashi slept peacefully that night, knowing he did the right thing and that he finally passed a team. A good team. A weird team of four, but a team nonetheless. He thought of Sakura as Rin, of Naruto as Minato and Kushina, of Sasuke as himself, and of Kai as Obito.

Things must always work out for the best, huh?

"Kakashi-baka..."

In a flash, the Jōnin got up and set off his traps, flinging kunai and shuriken everywhere. Who was in his house?! Why?!

There was silence for a second...and then panting.

"Your...pathetic traps...can't hurt me...because...I'm a ghost...Kakashi-baka..." The disembodied voice sounded extremely tired and out of breath, like it was just dodging a series of traps that would have ended it's life.

Suddenly, one late kunai came flying out and hit the voice right on his foot. He yelped in extreme pain...before shutting his mouth, tears coming out of his eyes.

Kakashi was cautious. "...Are you alright, Ghost-san?"

"Just fine!" _OMG IT HURTS SO FREAKING MUCH!_

"...You sound exhausted...and in pain."

"What? Ahahahaha... You're funny, Kakashi-baka. I'm a ghost, so I can't get tired and I can't feel pain! Use your head, man!"

"...Who are you, Ghost-san?" The self-proclaimed ghost sounded...familiar.

As if on cue, the light through the window shifted to reveal Uchiha Kai dressed as...Uchiha Obito! Kakashi didn't know that, though; all he saw was his long lost friend, Uchiha Obito, standing in front of his bed.

The word _shock_ couldn't do justice to what Kakashi was feeling at that moment.

"O-Obito..!"

"Yeah, yeah, it's me, the amazing ninja, Uchiha Obito," Kai droned, waving his hand dismissively. Honestly, the raven couldn't believe Kakashi actually fell for it. Cosplay was an amazing thing. Really. "Anyway, I have some things to tell you. Important things."

Kakashi nodded numbly, not really believing his eyes. Could this person really be Obito? It couldn't...right? Right?

"Firstly, don't be late all the time. Okay? That's really annoying and I was never _five hours_ late."

Kakashi nodded.

"Secondly, I expect you to actually train your four students. No slacking! Make sure they all at least have the basics perfect, okay? Oh, and it's okay, I know you think of that Uchiha Kai kid as me. Give him some slack, though, okay? He's really, really, really strong."

Kakashi nodded.

"...And don't stick your fingers up kids' butts anymore. That's really freaky... I don't even know why you made that technique in the first place. Seriously. Stop that."

Kakashi nodded.

"...Are you so shocked that all you can do is nod?"

Kakashi nodded.

Kai sighed. His sensei was more hopeless than he thought possible.

"...Anyway... This was fun, but I have to go." The raven turned to go, but Kakashi grabbed his wrist, stopping him. _Oh shit..._

Everything was quiet...until Kakashi mumbled some words out. "...Do you blame me...for Rin?"

More silence.

"...No," Kai finally muttered, getting over his shock. "And she doesn't either. Neither does sensei." He turned back and grinned, pointing at himself. "I may not have survived long enough to be Hokage, but that Naruto kid will! Make sure you do everything in your power to help him reach that goal, okay?"

Kakashi nodded.

And just like that, Kai walked out through the front door, closing it gently. And Kakashi reached over to set his clock an hour early, not realizing that he just touched a so-called ghost, and that that ghost somehow opened his door.

In the morning, he'd miss the trail of blood leading out the door, too.

* * *

**Author's Notes: I feel like this could've gone better...but I got lazy. :/ Anyway, I hope you enjoyed nonetheless! ^_^ (oh yeah, and who else was on the verge of tears when Neji died? I really hated him at first...but after watching Naruto SD, I grew to really like him. *sniff* And now...he's dead.)**

* * *

**Reviewing the Reviewers**

**Update Zombie: Heh, well, I try to make the time skips not so...dull. And since Kai wasn't in last chapter as much as this one, I think I made the right choice in adding them. Oh! I remember that episode! Ahaha - yeah, I miss that show... Anyway, thank you for the compliments and thank you for saying happy birthday and thank you for the cookie! ^_^ Hopefully it's chocolate chip... AND KILL THAT THIEF! IF I KNEW WHO IT WAS, I'D KILL THEM, TOO!**

**Guest: Ah! Well, it's not gonna be yaoi...but thanks for getting into this! I've seen the first two (or maybe just the first one) but not the other one. I definitely gotta check them out...**

**Raidon123: you know you're a real Naruto fan when you try to release a genjutsu. ^_^ Anyway, thanks for reviewing and thanks for saying happy birthday! **

**CareBearCara101: Your wonders have been...un-wondered? /shot**

**Jirouto: Hehehe... Cliffhangers rock. But at least it wasn't one this chapter. You welcome. ^_^ And yep, it was my b-day. I'm officially 14... Ah, how I don't feel any different. And happy belated birthday! :D**

**Mythologygirl: THANK YOU! ^_^ And now you know what happens next. **

**Chionodoxa: Thank you! And yeah, hopefully this chapter didn't kill you...or shouldn't I want it to kill you? =_= Am I a bad person? (You were right about the teamwork thing, though! And yeah...those crows...)**

**DaOneInDaCorner: ^_^ Thank you, Corner-kun. But you wrote that in class?! Man... I feel all important all of a sudden... Oh, and yeah, I think I do need to write that... I have it all visualized and everything...**

**Guest: Thanks! And here it is!**

**monamonalisa17: Eek! Don't be angry! H-Here, take this chapter and all my other chapters! *throws stacks of paper at you* ...Happy yet? :D**

**Party Time: Put that song on ITunes. :| I need it. Don't boost Kai's ego up, though. He'll go crazy and somehow prank the whole world... But yeah, those crows were like, super crows or something. I bet Kai's still crying about it now. AND YAY! Long live the Uchi- /shot by Amaterasu**

**Kashlazy: It was just another one of Kakashi's everlasting trials of good will...or something like that. And yeah, Kai sorta did have it coming. **

**Freedom its2l8: You could say that...**

**thelonelylovechild: lol! Yeah, threaten them to pass you lol**

**MiscellaneousAilurophileOfFire: YAY HUGS! And ya, 101% male...the last time I checked...**

**Black Primrose-94: Heh. Sometimes I even surprise myself. And here ya go, a steaming hot update just for you (or nah)!**

**Wraith's Heart: Yep. But everyone likes Kai, so I guess he'll never stop being non serious. *sigh* AND YES! THE ABURAME ARE OUT TO GET US!**

**kinnLacrimae025: Now you know! Your wondering days are now over!**

**PCheshire: Thanks! And that scene will be explained later on... Kufufufu...**

**sillyhater: No problem! Thanks for the review!**

**Jack-s-Ace: ...I'm getting mixed feelings...but thanks! ^_^**

**WindWhistle21: Yep. As legit as everything else in this story... And take him! HES ALL YOURS! He's so freaking aggravating to deal with... AND THANKS A LOT!**

* * *

**We'll... See you all next time! Bye-nii~!**


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